tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46176773480328607892024-02-08T14:24:20.537-06:00Secrets of SuburbiaWhat happens in the suburbs, stays in the suburbs? Well, not if I have anything to say about it. Peep inside our world.SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-24023725232203013512011-08-01T18:36:00.000-05:002011-08-01T18:37:20.315-05:00The Gift That Truly Says It AllA few weeks ago my husband Scott and I celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary. Our romantic history is long and complex, having started not one decade ago but actually 36 years ago. We met in 7th grade in a cooking class at our junior high school. Love at first sight? Hardly. But it was, in fact, best friendship from the very beginning. Too young for love at age 12, we instead became the best of friends.<br /><br />As time passed, we eventually tip-toed around an actual romance. Still, the thought of trading in a surefire friendship for a questionable romance was more than the two of us could consider. We moved on to other relationships and eventually both got married and then divorced. We remained in contact through it all, grateful that our solid friendship sustained where other relationships had faltered and failed. Scott came to visit me in Illinois from his home in Florida 11 years ago and from the moment I saw him standing in the doorway of my suburban Chicago home, I knew for certain what had remained only uncertain in the past: We belonged together. <br /><br />Within five months we were seriously dating. Within 7 months we were engaged. And within 12 months we were finally married. A lifetime of deep friendship had morphed into a love affair and we were finally in the right place, at the right time, and with the right person. It was bliss ten years ago and it is bliss today. We are the couple that some choose to hate…an opinion that we completely understand. Holding hands in the grocery store, dancing in the kitchen, and endless inside jokes are the hallmarks of our life together. <br /><br />Still, as often happens with married couples, we find that so much of the time we spend together is business oriented. Not just the business that we actually run as a livelihood, but the business of marriage and parenting. You know, those deep conversations that married people have, about getting colonoscopies or which pizza place to order from or who will be picking our daughter up from ballet. Three minute conversations that are 100% practical and goal oriented. This is no way to stay connected to your life partner and ensure that the marriage continues to be rooted in friendship.<br /><br />As our 10 year anniversary approached, we discussed what we would do to celebrate this big benchmark in our marriage. Maybe a cruise was in order. Or a big celebration with our extended family. Perhaps a major purchase for our household. As we talked and talked about our possibilities we both came to the same conclusion about what we wanted out of our celebration: togetherness. We just wanted extended time together in an attempt not just to keep the love alive, but to revitalize the friendship as well. <br /><br />What we settled on was a good old fashioned road trip wherein we drove from our home in the Chicago area to Niagara Falls. We were gone for 7 days and tried not to drive for more than 250 miles per day. It was leisurely and lovely. We winded our way through wine country, the shoreline of Lake Erie, Amish country, the Alleghany Forest and stopped at more than a dozen McDonalds’ for coffees and Diet Cokes. And all the while we talked. And talked. And then talked a bit more. We talked about everything from where we should retire to what sort of car we should buy next to where we should go on vacation next summer. We laughed, we made up silly sayings, sang along with songs from the 1970s and adored just being near each other. Corny? Yes. But also true. <br /><br />As it turns out, ten years into marriage he is still my very best friend. I knew that all along, but sometimes it just takes moments like this to be gently reminded. The very best gift we could possibly give to each other was the gift of our time and our attention. It was, in a word, priceless.SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-10696152739430650782011-07-27T10:44:00.002-05:002011-07-27T10:47:17.904-05:00Fax Numbers of the 111th CongressLet's get involved, folks! Following are the fax numbers of the 111th congress, so there is no reason not to take a moment, gather your thoughts and let Congress know your real opinion of their refusal to tax the wealthy of this country and combine revenue (read: taxes) with tax cuts. Every poll available shows that Americans support this combined philosophy, yet many in Congress are intent on defying those desires. <br /><br />Sen. Jeff Sessionsᅠ<br /><br />202-224-3149<br /><br />Sen. Richard C. Shelbyᅠ<br /><br />202-224-3416<br /><br />Rep. Jo Bonnerᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0562<br /><br />Rep. Bobby Brightᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8913<br /><br />Rep. Michael Rogersᅠ<br /><br />202-226-8485ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Robert Aderholtᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5587<br /><br />Rep. Parker Griffithᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4392<br /><br />Rep. Spencer Bachusᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2082<br /><br />Rep. Artur Davisᅠ<br /><br />202-226-9567<br /><br />Sen. Lisa Murkowskiᅠ<br /><br />202-224-5301<br /><br />Sen. Mark Begichᅠ<br /><br />202-224-2354<br /><br />Rep. Don Youngᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0425<br /><br />Sen. Jon Kyl.ᅠ<br /><br />202-224-2207<br /><br />Sen. John McCainᅠ<br /><br />202-228-2862<br /><br />Rep. Ann Kirkpatrickᅠ<br /><br />202-226-9739<br /><br />Rep. Trent Franksᅠ<br /><br />202-225-6328<br /><br />Rep. John Shadeggᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3462<br /><br />Rep. Ed Pastorᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1655<br /><br />Rep. Harry Mitchellᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3263<br /><br />Rep. Jeff Flakeᅠ<br /><br />202-226-4386<br /><br />Rep. Raul Grijalvaᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1541<br /><br />Rep. Gabrielle Giffordsᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0378<br /><br />Sen. Blanche Lincolnᅠ<br /><br />202-228-1371<br /><br />Sen. Mark Pryorᅠ<br /><br />202-228-0908ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Marion Berryᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5602<br /><br />Rep. Vic Snyderᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5903<br /><br />Rep. John Boozemanᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5713<br /><br />Rep. Mike Rossᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1314<br /><br />Gov. Arnold Schwarzeneggerᅠ<br /><br />916-558-3160<br /><br />Sen. Barbara Boxerᅠ<br /><br />415-956-6701<br /><br />Sen. Dianne Feinsteinᅠ<br /><br />202-228-3954<br /><br />Rep. Mike Thompsonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4335<br /><br />Rep. Wally Hergerᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1740<br /><br />Rep. Dan Lungrenᅠ<br /><br />202-226-1298<br /><br />Rep. Tom McClintockᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5444<br /><br />Rep. Doris Matsuiᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0566<br /><br />Rep. Lynn Woolseyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5163<br /><br />Rep. George Millerᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5609<br /><br />Rep. Nancy Pelosiᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8259<br /><br />Rep. Barbara Leeᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9817<br /><br />Rep. Jerry McNerneyᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0861<br /><br />Rep.ᅠJackie Speierᅠ<br /><br />202-226-4183<br /><br />Rep. Pete Starkᅠ<br /><br />202-226-3805<br /><br />Rep. Anna Eshooᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8890<br /><br />Rep. Mike Hondaᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2699<br /><br />Rep. Zoe Lofgrenᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3336<br /><br />Rep. Sam Farrᅠ<br /><br />202-225-6791<br /><br />Rep. Dennis Cardozaᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0819ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. George Radanovichᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3402<br /><br />Rep. Jim Costaᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9308<br /><br />Rep. Devin Nunesᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3404<br /><br />Rep. Kevin McCarthyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8798<br /><br />Rep. Lois Cappsᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5632<br /><br />Rep. Elton Galleglyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1100<br /><br />Rep. Howard McKeonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0683<br /><br />Rep. David Dreierᅠ<br /><br />202-225-7018<br /><br />Rep. Brad Shermanᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5879<br /><br />Rep. Howard Bermanᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3196<br /><br />Rep. Adam Schiffᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5828<br /><br />Rep. Henry Waxmanᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4099<br /><br />Rep. Xavier Becerraᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2202<br /><br />Rep. Diane Watsonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2422<br /><br />Rep. Lucille Roybal-Allardᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0350<br /><br />Rep. Maxine Watersᅠ<br /><br />202-225-7854<br /><br />Rep. Jane Harmanᅠ<br /><br />202-226-7290<br /><br />Rep. Laura Richardsonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-7926<br /><br />Rep. Grace Napolitanoᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0027<br /><br />Rep. Linda Sanchezᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5859ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Ed Royceᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0335<br /><br />Rep. Jerry Lewisᅠ<br /><br />202-225-6498<br /><br />Rep. Gary Millerᅠ<br /><br />202-226-6962<br /><br />Rep. Joe Bacaᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8671<br /><br />Rep. Ken Calvertᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2004<br /><br />Rep. Mary Bonoᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2961<br /><br />Rep. Dana Rohrabacherᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0145<br /><br />Rep. Loretta Sanchezᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5859<br /><br />Rep. John Campbellᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9177<br /><br />Rep. Darrell Issaᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3303<br /><br />Rep. Brian Bilbrayᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2558<br /><br />Rep. Bob Filnerᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9073<br /><br />Rep. Duncan Hunterᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0235<br /><br />Rep. Susan Davisᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2948<br /><br />Sen. Mark Udallᅠ<br /><br />202-224-6471<br /><br />Sen. Michael Bennetᅠ<br /><br />202-224-1933<br /><br />Rep. Diana DeGetteᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5657<br /><br />Rep. Jared Polisᅠ<br /><br />202-226-7840<br /><br />Rep. John Salazarᅠ<br /><br />202-226-9669<br /><br />Rep. Betsy Markeyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5870<br /><br />Rep. Doug Lambornᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1942<br /><br />Rep. Mike Coffmanᅠ<br /><br />202-226-4623<br /><br />Rep. Ed Perlmutterᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5278<br /><br />Sen. Christopher Doddᅠ<br /><br />202-224-1083<br /><br />Sen. Joseph Liebermanᅠ<br /><br />202-224-9750<br /><br />Rep. John Larsonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1031<br /><br />Rep. Joe Courtneyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4977<br /><br />Rep. Rosa DeLauroᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4890<br /><br />Rep. Jim Himesᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9629<br /><br />Rep. Chris Murphyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4488<br /><br />Sen. Tom Carperᅠ<br /><br />202-228-2190<br /><br />Rep. Michael Castleᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2291<br /><br />Sen. Mel Martinezᅠ<br /><br />202-224-2237<br /><br />Sen. Bill Nelsonᅠ<br /><br />202-228-2183<br /><br />Rep. Jeff Millerᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3414<br /><br />Rep. F. Allen Boydᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5615<br /><br />Rep. Corrine Brownᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2256<br /><br />Rep. Ander Crenshawᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2504<br /><br />Rep. Virginia Brown-Waiteᅠ<br /><br />202-226-6559ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Cliff Stearnsᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3973<br /><br />Rep. John Micaᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0821<br /><br />Rep. Alan Graysonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0999<br /><br />Rep. Gus Bilirakisᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4085<br /><br />Rep. Bill Youngᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9764<br /><br />Rep. Kathy Castorᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5652<br /><br />Rep. Adam Putnamᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0585<br /><br />Rep. Vern Buchananᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0828<br /><br />Rep. Connie Mackᅠ<br /><br />202-225-6820<br /><br />Rep. Bill Poseyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3516<br /><br />Rep. Tom Rooneyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3132<br /><br />Rep. Kendrick Meekᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0777<br /><br />Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinenᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5620<br /><br />Rep. Robert Wexlerᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5974<br /><br />Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultzᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8456<br /><br />Rep. Lincoln Diaz-Balartᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8576<br /><br />Rep. Ron Kleinᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8398<br /><br />Rep. Alcee Hastingsᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1171<br /><br />Rep. Suzanne Kosmasᅠ<br /><br />202-226-6299<br /><br />Rep. Mario Diaz-Balartᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0346<br /><br />Sen. Saxby Chamblisᅠ<br /><br />202-224-0103ᅠ<br /><br />Sen. Johnny Isaksonᅠ<br /><br />202-228-2090<br /><br />Rep. Jack Kingstonᅠ<br /><br />202-226-2269<br /><br />Rep. Sanford Bishopᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2203<br /><br />Rep. Lynn Westmorelandᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3013ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Hank Johnsonᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0691ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. John Lewisᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0351<br /><br />Rep. Thomas Priceᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4656<br /><br />Rep. John Linderᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4696<br /><br />Rep. Jim Marshallᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2515<br /><br />Rep. Nathan Dealᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5995<br /><br />Rep. Paul Brounᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8272<br /><br />Rep. Phil Gingreyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2944ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. John Barrowᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3377<br /><br />Rep. David Scottᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4628<br /><br />Sen. Daniel K. Akakaᅠ<br /><br />202-224-2126<br /><br />Sen. Daniel K. Inouyeᅠ<br /><br />202-224-6747<br /><br />Rep. Neil Abercrombieᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4580<br /><br />Rep. Mazie Hironoᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4987<br /><br />Sen. James Rischᅠ<br /><br />202-228-1067<br /><br />Sen. Michael Crapoᅠ<br /><br />202-228-1375<br /><br />Rep. Walt Minnickᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3029<br /><br />Rep. Michael Simpsonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8216<br /><br />Sen. Dick Durbinᅠ<br /><br />202-228-0400ᅠ<br /><br />Sen. Roland Burrisᅠ<br /><br />202-228-5417ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Bobby Rushᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0333ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Jesse Jackson, Jr.ᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0899ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Daniel Lipinskiᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1012ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Luis Gutirrezᅠ<br /><br />202-225-7810ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Mike Quigleyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5603ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Peter Roskamᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1166ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Danny Davisᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5641ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Melissa Beanᅠ<br /><br />202-225-7830ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Janice Schakowskyᅠ<br /><br />202-226-6890ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Mark Kirkᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0837ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Deborah Halvorsonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3521ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Jerry Costelloᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0285ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Judy Biggertᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9420ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Bill Fosterᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0697ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Timothy Johnsonᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0791ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Donald Manzulloᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5284ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Philip Hareᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5396ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Aaron Schockᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9249ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. John Shimkusᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5880<br /><br />Sen. Evan Bayhᅠ<br /><br />202-228-1377<br /><br />Sen. Richard G. Lugarᅠ<br /><br />202-228-0360<br /><br />Rep. Peter Viscloskyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2493<br /><br />Rep. Joe Donnellyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-6798<br /><br />Rep. Mark Souderᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3479<br /><br />Rep. Stephen Buyerᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2267<br /><br />Rep. Dan Burtonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0016<br /><br />Rep. Mike Penceᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3382<br /><br />Rep. Andr? Carson?<br /><br />202-225-5633<br /><br />Rep. Brad Ellsworthᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3284<br /><br />Rep. Baron Hillᅠ<br /><br />202-226-6866<br /><br />Sen. Chuck Grassleyᅠ<br /><br />202-224-6020<br /><br />Sen. Tom Harkinᅠ<br /><br />202-224-9369<br /><br />Rep. Bruce Braleyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9129<br /><br />Rep. David Loebsackᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0757<br /><br />Rep. Leonard Boswellᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5608<br /><br />Rep. Tom Lathamᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3301<br /><br />Rep. Steve Kingᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3193<br /><br />Sen. Sam Brownbackᅠ<br /><br />202-228-1265<br /><br />Sen. Pat Robertsᅠ<br /><br />202-224-3514<br /><br />Rep. Jerry Moranᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5124<br /><br />Rep. Lynn Jenkinsᅠ<br /><br />202-225-7986<br /><br />Rep. Dennis Mooreᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2807<br /><br />Rep. Todd Tiahrtᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3489<br /><br />Sen. Jim Bunningᅠ<br /><br />202-228-1373<br /><br />Sen. Mitch McConnellᅠ<br /><br />202-224-2499<br /><br />Rep. Ed Whitfieldᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3547<br /><br />Rep. Ron Lewisᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3501<br /><br />Rep. John Yarmuthᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5776<br /><br />Rep. Geoff Davisᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0003<br /><br />Rep. Harold Rogersᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0940<br /><br />Rep. Ben Chandlerᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2122<br /><br />Sen. Mary Landrieuᅠ<br /><br />202-224-9735<br /><br />Sen.ᅠDavid Vitterᅠ<br /><br />202-228-2577<br /><br />Rep. Steve Scaliseᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0386<br /><br />Rep. William Jeffersonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1988<br /><br />Rep. Charlie Melanconᅠ<br /><br />202-226-3944<br /><br />Rep. Jim McCreryᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8039<br /><br />Rep. Rodney Alexanderᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5639ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Charles Boustanyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5724<br /><br />Sen. Susan Collinsᅠ<br /><br />202-224-2693<br /><br />Sen. Olympia Snoweᅠ<br /><br />202-224-1946<br /><br />Rep. Tom Allenᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5590<br /><br />Rep. Michael Michaudᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2943<br /><br />Sen. Benjamin Cardinᅠ<br /><br />202-224-1651<br /><br />Sen. Barbara Mikulskiᅠ<br /><br />202-224-8858<br /><br />Rep. Wayne Gilchrestᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0254<br /><br />Rep. C. "Dutch" Ruppersbergerᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3094ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. John Sarbanesᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9219<br /><br />Rep. Donna Edwardsᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8714<br /><br />Rep. Steny Hoyerᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4300<br /><br />Rep. Roscoe Bartlettᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2193<br /><br />Rep. Elijah Cummingsᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3178<br /><br />Rep. Chris Van Hollenᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0375<br /><br />Gov. Deval Patrickᅠ<br /><br />202-624-7714<br /><br />Sen. Edward M. Kennedyᅠ<br /><br />202-224-2417<br /><br />Sen. John Kerryᅠ<br /><br />202-224-8525<br /><br />Rep. John Olverᅠ<br /><br />202-226-1224<br /><br />Rep. Richard Nealᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8112<br /><br />Rep. Jim McGovernᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5759<br /><br />Rep. Barney Frankᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0182<br /><br />Rep. Niki Tsongasᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0771<br /><br />Rep. John Tierneyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5915<br /><br />Rep. Edward Markeyᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0092<br /><br />Rep. Michael Capuanoᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9322<br /><br />Rep. Stephen Lynchᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3984<br /><br />Rep. William Delahuntᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5658<br /><br />Gov. Jennifer Granholmᅠ<br /><br />517-335-6863<br /><br />Sen. Carl Levinᅠ<br /><br />202-224-1388<br /><br />Sen. Debbie Stabenowᅠ<br /><br />202-228-0325<br /><br />Rep. Bart Stupakᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4744<br /><br />Rep. Peter Hoekstraᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0779<br /><br />Rep. Vernon Ehlersᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5144<br /><br />Rep. David Campᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9679<br /><br />Rep. Dale Kildeeᅠ<br /><br />202-225-6393<br /><br />Rep. Fred Uptonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4986<br /><br />Rep. Mark Schauerᅠ<br /><br />202-225-6281<br /><br />Rep. Mike Rogersᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5820<br /><br />Rep. Gary Petersᅠ<br /><br />202-226-2356<br /><br />Rep. Candice Millerᅠ<br /><br />202-226-1169<br /><br />Rep. Thad McCotterᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2667<br /><br />Rep. Sander Levinᅠ<br /><br />202-226-1033<br /><br />Rep. Carolyn Kilpatrickᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5730<br /><br />Rep. John Conyersᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0072<br /><br />Rep. John Dingellᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0371<br /><br />Sen. Amy Klobucharᅠ<br /><br />202-228-2186<br /><br />Sen. Al Franken<br /><br />202-224-1152<br /><br />Rep. Tim Walzᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3433<br /><br />Rep. John Klineᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2595<br /><br />Rep. Erik Paulsenᅠ<br /><br />202-225-6351<br /><br />Rep. Betty McCollumᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1968<br /><br />Rep. Keith Ellisonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4886<br /><br />Rep. Michelle Bachmanᅠ<br /><br />202-225-6475<br /><br />Rep. Collin Petersonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1593<br /><br />Rep. James Oberstarᅠ<br /><br />202-225-6211<br /><br />Sen. Thad Cochranᅠ<br /><br />202-224-9450<br /><br />Sen. Roger Wickerᅠ<br /><br />202-228-0378<br /><br />Rep. Travis Childersᅠ<br /><br />662-844-5437<br /><br />Rep. Bennie Thompsonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5898<br /><br />Rep. Gregg Harperᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5797<br /><br />Rep. Gene Taylorᅠ<br /><br />202-225-7074<br /><br />Sen. Kit Bondᅠ<br /><br />202-224-8149<br /><br />Sen. Claire McCaskillᅠ<br /><br />202-228-6326<br /><br />Rep. William Clay, Jr.<br /><br />202-226-3717<br /><br />Rep. Todd Akinᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2563<br /><br />Rep. Russ Carnahanᅠ<br /><br />202-225-7452<br /><br />Rep. Ike Skeltonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2876<br /><br />Rep. Emanuel Cleaverᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4403<br /><br />Rep. Sam Gravesᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8221<br /><br />Rep. Roy Bluntᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5604<br /><br />Rep. Jo Ann Emersonᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0326<br /><br />Rep. Blaine Luetkemeyerᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5712<br /><br />Sen. Max Baucusᅠ<br /><br />202-224-9412<br /><br />Sen. Jon Testerᅠ<br /><br />202-224-8594<br /><br />Rep. Dennis Rehbergᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5687<br /><br />Gov. Dave Heinemanᅠ<br /><br />402-471-6031<br /><br />Sen. Mike Johannsᅠ<br /><br />202-224-5213<br /><br />Sen. Ben Nelsonᅠ<br /><br />202-228-0012<br /><br />Rep. Jeff Fortenberryᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5686<br /><br />Rep. Lee Terryᅠ<br /><br />202-226-5452<br /><br />Rep. Adrian Smithᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0207<br /><br />Sen. John Ensignᅠ<br /><br />202-228-2193<br /><br />Sen. Harry Reidᅠ<br /><br />202-224-7327<br /><br />Rep. Shelley Berkleyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3119<br /><br />Rep. Dean Hellerᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5679<br /><br />Rep. Dina Titusᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2185<br /><br />Sen. Judd Greggᅠ<br /><br />202-224-4952<br /><br />Sen. Jeanne Shaheenᅠ<br /><br />202-228-4131<br /><br />Rep. Carol Shea-Porterᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5822<br /><br />Rep. Paul Hodesᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2946<br /><br />Sen. Robert Menendezᅠ<br /><br />202-228-2197<br /><br />Sen. Frank Lautenbergᅠ<br /><br />202-228-4054<br /><br />Rep. Robert Andrewsᅠ<br /><br />202-225-6583<br /><br />Rep. Frank LoBiondoᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3318<br /><br />Rep. John Alderᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0778<br /><br />Rep. Christopher Smithᅠ<br /><br />202-225-7768<br /><br />Rep. Scott Garrettᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9048<br /><br />Rep. Frank Palloneᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9665<br /><br />Rep. Leonard Lanceᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9460<br /><br />Rep. William Pascrellᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5751<br /><br />Rep. Steven Rothmanᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5851<br /><br />Rep. Donald Payneᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4160<br /><br />Rep. Rodney Frelinghuysenᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3186<br /><br />Rep. Rush Holtᅠ<br /><br />202-225-6025<br /><br />Rep. Albio Siresᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0792<br /><br />Sen. Jeff Bingamanᅠ<br /><br />202-224-2852<br /><br />Sen. Tom Udallᅠ<br /><br />202-228-3261<br /><br />Rep. Martin Heinrich<br /><br />202-225-4975<br /><br />Rep. Harry Teagueᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9599<br /><br />Rep. Ben Lujanᅠ<br /><br />202-226-1528<br /><br />Sen. Charles Schumerᅠ<br /><br />202-228-3027<br /><br />Sen. Kirsten Gillibrandᅠ<br /><br />202-228-0282<br /><br />Rep. Tim Bishopᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3143<br /><br />Rep. Steven Israelᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4669<br /><br />Rep. Peter Kingᅠ<br /><br />202-226-2279<br /><br />Rep. Carolyn McCarthyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5758<br /><br />Rep. Gary Ackermanᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1589<br /><br />Rep. Gregory Meeksᅠ<br /><br />202-226-4169<br /><br />Rep. Joseph Crowleyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1909<br /><br />Rep. Jerrold Nadlerᅠ<br /><br />202-225-6923<br /><br />Rep. Anthony Weinerᅠ<br /><br />202-226-7243<br /><br />Rep. Edolphus Townsᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1018<br /><br />Rep. Yvette Clarkeᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0112<br /><br />Rep. Nydia Velazquezᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0327<br /><br />Rep. Michael McMahonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1272<br /><br />Rep. Carolyn Maloneyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4709<br /><br />Rep. Charles Rangelᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0816ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Jose Serranoᅠ<br /><br />202-225-6001<br /><br />Rep. Eliot Engelᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5513<br /><br />Rep. Nita Loweyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0546<br /><br />Rep. John Hallᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3289<br /><br />Rep. Scott Murphyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1168<br /><br />Rep. Paul Tonkoᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5077<br /><br />Rep. Maurice Hincheyᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0774<br /><br />Rep. John McHughᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0621<br /><br />Rep. Michael Arcuriᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1891<br /><br />Rep. Dan Maffeiᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4042<br /><br />Rep. Christopher Leeᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5910<br /><br />Rep. Brian Higginsᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0347<br /><br />Rep. Louise Slaughterᅠ<br /><br />202-225-7822<br /><br />Rep. Eric Massaᅠ<br /><br />202-226-6599<br /><br />Sen. Richard Burrᅠ<br /><br />202-228-2981<br /><br />Sen. Kay Haganᅠ<br /><br />202-224-1100<br /><br />Rep. G.K. Butterfieldᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3354<br /><br />Rep. Bob Etheridgeᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5662<br /><br />Rep. Walter Jonesᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3286<br /><br />Rep. David Priceᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2014<br /><br />Rep. Virginia Foxxᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2995<br /><br />Rep. Howard Cobleᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8611<br /><br />Rep. Mike McIntyreᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5773<br /><br />Rep. Larry Kisselᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4036<br /><br />Rep. Sue Myrickᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3389<br /><br />Rep. Patrick McHenryᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0316<br /><br />Rep. Heath Shulerᅠ<br /><br />202-226-6422<br /><br />Rep. Melvin Wattᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1512<br /><br />Rep. Brad Millerᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0181<br /><br />Sen. Kent Conradᅠ<br /><br />202-224-7776<br /><br />Sen. Byron L. Dorganᅠ<br /><br />202-224-1193<br /><br />Rep. Earl Pomeroyᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0893<br /><br />Sen. Sherrod Brownᅠ<br /><br />202-224-6519<br /><br />Sen. George Voinovichᅠ<br /><br />202-228-1382<br /><br />Rep. Steve Chabotᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3012<br /><br />Rep. Jean Schmidtᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1992<br /><br />Rep. Michael Turnerᅠ<br /><br />202-226-1443<br /><br />Rep. Jim Jordanᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0577<br /><br />Rep. Bob Lattaᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1985ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Charlie Wilsonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5907<br /><br />Rep. David Hobsonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1984<br /><br />Rep. John Boehnerᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0704<br /><br />Rep. Marcy Kapturᅠ<br /><br />202-225-7711<br /><br />Rep. Dennis Kucinichᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5745<br /><br />Rep. Marcia Fudgeᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1339<br /><br />Rep. Pat Tiberiᅠ<br /><br />202-226-4523<br /><br />Rep. Betty Suttonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2266<br /><br />Rep. Steven LaTouretteᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3307<br /><br />Rep. Deborah Pryceᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3529<br /><br />Rep. Ralph Regulaᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3059<br /><br />Rep. Tim Ryanᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3719<br /><br />Rep. Zack Spaceᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3394<br /><br />Gov. Brad Henryᅠ<br /><br />405-521-3353<br /><br />Sen. James Inhofeᅠ<br /><br />202-228-0380<br /><br />Sen. Tom Coburnᅠ<br /><br />202-224-6008<br /><br />Rep. John Sullivanᅠ<br /><br />202 225-9187<br /><br />Rep. Dan Borenᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3038<br /><br />Rep. Frank Lucasᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8698<br /><br />Rep. Tom Coleᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3512<br /><br />Rep. Mary Fallinᅠ<br /><br />202-226-1463<br /><br />Sen. Jeff Merkleyᅠ<br /><br />202-228-3997<br /><br />Sen. Ron Wydenᅠ<br /><br />202-228-2717<br /><br />Rep. David Wuᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9497<br /><br />Rep. Greg Waldenᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5774<br /><br />Rep. Earl Blumenauerᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8941<br /><br />Rep. Peter DeFazioᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0032<br /><br />Rep. Darlene Hooleyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5699<br /><br />Sen. Robert Casey, Jr.ᅠ<br /><br />202-228-0604<br /><br />Sen. Arlen Specterᅠ<br /><br />202-228-1229<br /><br />Rep. Robert Bradyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0088<br /><br />Rep. Chaka Fattahᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5392<br /><br />Rep. Kathy Dahlkemperᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3103<br /><br />Rep. Jason Altmireᅠ<br /><br />202-226-2274<br /><br />Rep. John Petersonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5796<br /><br />Rep. Jim Gerlachᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8440<br /><br />Rep. Joe Sestakᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0280<br /><br />Rep. Patrick Murphyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9511<br /><br />Rep. Bill Shusterᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2486<br /><br />Rep. Chris Carneyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9594<br /><br />Rep. Paul Kanjorskiᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0764<br /><br />Rep. John Murthaᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5709<br /><br />Rep. Allyson Schwartzᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0611<br /><br />Rep. Michael Doyleᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3084<br /><br />Rep. Charlie Dentᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0778<br /><br />Rep. Joseph Pittsᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2013<br /><br />Rep. Tim Holdenᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0996<br /><br />Rep. Tim Murphyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1844<br /><br />Rep. Todd Plattsᅠ<br /><br />202-226-1000<br /><br />Sen. Sheldon Whitehouseᅠ<br /><br />202-228-2853<br /><br />Sen. Jack Reedᅠ<br /><br />202-224-4680<br /><br />Rep. Patrick Kennedyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3290<br /><br />Rep. James Langevinᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5976<br /><br />Sen. Jim DeMintᅠ<br /><br />202-228-5143<br /><br />Sen. Lindsey Grahamᅠ<br /><br />202-224-3808<br /><br />Rep. Henry Brownᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3407<br /><br />Rep. Joe Wilsonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2455<br /><br />Rep. Gresham Barrettᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3216<br /><br />Rep. Bob Inglisᅠ<br /><br />202-226-1177<br /><br />Rep. John Sprattᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0464<br /><br />Rep. James Clyburnᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2313<br /><br />Sen. John Thuneᅠ<br /><br />202-228-5429<br /><br />Sen. Tim Johnsonᅠ<br /><br />202-228-5765<br /><br />Rep. Stephanie Hersethᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5823<br /><br />Sen. Bob Corkerᅠ<br /><br />202-228-1264<br /><br />Sen. Lamar Alexanderᅠ<br /><br />202-228-3398<br /><br />Rep. Phil Roeᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5714<br /><br />Rep. John Duncan, Jr.ᅠ<br /><br />202-225-6440<br /><br />Rep. Zach Wampᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3494<br /><br />Rep. Lincoln Davisᅠ<br /><br />202-226-5172<br /><br />Rep. Jim Cooperᅠ<br /><br />202-226-1035<br /><br />Rep. Bart Gordonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-6887<br /><br />Rep. Marsha Blackburnᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3004<br /><br />Rep. John Tannerᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1765<br /><br />Rep. Steve Cohenᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5663<br /><br />Sen. John Cornynᅠ<br /><br />202-228-2856<br /><br />Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchisonᅠ<br /><br />202-224-0776<br /><br />Rep. Louis Gohmertᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5866<br /><br />Rep. Ted Poeᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5547<br /><br />Rep. Sam Johnsonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1485<br /><br />Rep. Ralph Hallᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3332ᅠ<br /><br />Rep. Jeb Hensarlingᅠ<br /><br />202-226-4888<br /><br />Rep. Joe Bartonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3052<br /><br />Rep. John Culbersonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4381<br /><br />Rep. Kevin Bradyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5524<br /><br />Rep. Al Greenᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2947<br /><br />Rep. Michael McCaulᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5955<br /><br />Rep. Mike Conawayᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1783<br /><br />Rep. Kay Grangerᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5683<br /><br />Rep. "Mac" Thornberryᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3486<br /><br />Rep. Ron Paulᅠ<br /><br />202-226-6553<br /><br />Rep. Ruben Hinojosaᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5688<br /><br />Rep. Silvestre Reyesᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2016<br /><br />Rep. Chet Edwardsᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2234<br /><br />Rep. Sheila Jackson-Leeᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3317<br /><br />Rep. Randy Neugebauerᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9615<br /><br />Rep. Charles Gonzalezᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1915<br /><br />Rep. Lamar Smithᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8628<br /><br />Rep. Pete Olsonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5241<br /><br />Rep. Ciro Rodriguezᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2237<br /><br />Rep. Kenny Marchantᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0074<br /><br />Rep. Lloyd Doggettᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2947<br /><br />Rep. Michael Burgessᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2919<br /><br />Rep. Solomon Ortizᅠ<br /><br />202-226-1134<br /><br />Rep. Enrique Cuellarᅠ<br /><br />202-225-1641<br /><br />Rep. Gene Greenᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9903<br /><br />Rep. Eddie Bernice Johnsonᅠ<br /><br />202-226-1477<br /><br />Rep. John Carterᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5886<br /><br />Rep. Pete Sessionsᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5878<br /><br />Sen. Robert F. Bennettᅠ<br /><br />202-228-1168<br /><br />Sen. Orrin G. Hatchᅠ<br /><br />202-224-6331<br /><br />Rep. Rob Bishopᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5857<br /><br />Rep. Jim Mathesonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5638<br /><br />Rep. Chris Cannonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5629<br /><br />Sen. Bernie Sandersᅠ<br /><br />202-228-0776<br /><br />Sen. Patrick J. Leahyᅠ<br /><br />202-224-3479<br /><br />Rep. Peter Welchᅠ<br /><br />202-225-6790<br /><br />Sen. Jim Webbᅠ<br /><br />202-228-6363<br /><br />Sen. Mark Warnerᅠ<br /><br />202-224-6295<br /><br />Rep. Robert Wittmanᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4382<br /><br />Rep. Glen Nyeᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4218<br /><br />Rep. Robert Scottᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8354<br /><br />Rep. Randy Forbesᅠ<br /><br />202-226-1170<br /><br />Rep. Thomas Perrielloᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5681<br /><br />Rep. Bob Goodlatteᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9681<br /><br />Rep. Eric Cantorᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0011<br /><br />Rep. Jim Moranᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0017<br /><br />Rep. Rick Boucherᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0442<br /><br />Rep. Frank Wolfᅠ<br /><br />202-225-0437<br /><br />Rep. Gerald Connollyᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3071<br /><br />Sen. Maria Cantwellᅠ<br /><br />202-228-0514<br /><br />Sen. Patty Murrayᅠ<br /><br />202-224-0238<br /><br />Rep. Jay Insleeᅠ<br /><br />202-226-1606<br /><br />Rep. Rick Larsenᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4420<br /><br />Rep. Brian Bairdᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3478<br /><br />Rep. Doc Hastingsᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3251<br /><br />Rep. Cathy McMorrisᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3392<br /><br />Rep. Norman Dicksᅠ<br /><br />202-226-1176<br /><br />Rep. Jim McDermottᅠ<br /><br />202-225-6197<br /><br />Rep. Dave Reichertᅠ<br /><br />202-225-4282<br /><br />Rep. Adam Smithᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5893<br /><br />Sen. Robert C. Byrdᅠ<br /><br />202-228-0002<br /><br />Sen. John D. Rockefeller, IVᅠ<br /><br />202-224-7665<br /><br />Rep. Alan Mollohanᅠ<br /><br />202-225-7564<br /><br />Rep. Shelley Capitoᅠ<br /><br />202-225-7856<br /><br />Rep. Nick Rahallᅠ<br /><br />202-225-9061<br /><br />Sen. Russell D. Feingoldᅠ<br /><br />202-224-2725<br /><br />Sen. Herb Kohlᅠ<br /><br />202-224-9787<br /><br />Rep. Paul Ryanᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3393<br /><br />Rep. Tammy Baldwinᅠ<br /><br />202-225-6942<br /><br />Rep. Ron Kindᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5739<br /><br />Rep. Gwen Mooreᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8135<br /><br />Rep. James Sensenbrennerᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3190<br /><br />Rep. Tom Petriᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2356<br /><br />Rep. David Obeyᅠ<br /><br />715-842-4488<br /><br />Rep. Steve Kaganᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5729<br /><br />Sen. Mike Enziᅠ<br /><br />202-228-0359ᅠ<br /><br />Sen. John Barrassoᅠ<br /><br />202-224-1724<br /><br />Rep. Barbara Cubinᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3057<br /><br />Delegate Eni Faleomavaegaᅠ<br /><br />202-225-8757<br /><br />Delegate Eleanor Holmes Nortonᅠ<br /><br />202-225-3002<br /><br />Delegate Madeilene Bordalloᅠ<br /><br />202-226-0341<br /><br />Delegate Pedro Pierluisiᅠ<br /><br />202-225-2154<br /><br />Delegate Donna Christensenᅠ<br /><br />202-225-5517<br /><br />.SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-60721343194364338912011-07-24T17:51:00.001-05:002011-07-24T17:53:34.005-05:00Saddened But Not Shocked: The Death of Amy WinehouseWhile the weekend death of 27 year old singer Amy Winehouse has left many folks saddened and distressed, it has left few actually surprised. In fact, it seems like our world has been filled with celebrities young and old who seem clearly on a path to self-destruction and there is little the public, let alone their family, can do to stop this freight-train of personal ruin. When this devastating path leads from bottle to pills to grave, leaving only misery in its wake, the world grieves not just the loss of a young life but the vision of what may have been given the great talent involved. <br /><br />What sort of cautionary tale is this for the likes of Lindsey Lohan or Charlie Sheen, who seem to be also wallowing in behavior that at best reeks of poor judgment and at worst is plain dangerous? The sad truth is that they will learn nothing. Amy Winehouse follows Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, Heath Ledger, John Belushi, Jim Morrison, Chris Farley, Jimi Hendrix, River Phoenix and far too many more to name in one short blog posting. If Amy did not learn from Kurt who failed to learn from John who did not learn from Jimi, then any celebrity currently battling their own addictions will not learn from her. There is a pathology to the way that celebrities view themselves and the world that leaves them impervious to lessons that seem all too obvious to the rest of us. <br /><br />The death of Amy Winehouse is tragic beyond belief, but she has been on the short list of celebrities-who-will-die-too-soon for quite some time. Once someone has committed themselves to prescribing their own death via drinking and/or drugs, there is little that anyone else can do to alter that pathway. I am sure that Ms. Winehouse’s parents, extended family, close friends and professional management team have begged her to change her ways. They have likely cried more tears than we can imagine and mentally prepared for her funeral hundreds of times. None of this changed the way she lived and none of this altered the timeline for her death. She needed help in the most desperate way and could not claw her way towards health, as the draw of the addiction was stronger than anything she had in her spiritual or emotional arsenal. <br /><br />A picture was released in 2007 of Amy Winehouse wandering in the streets of London, wearing only a bra and jeans. She is disoriented, confused, out of control and appears nothing short of desperate. The camera catches her raising her hands as if to surrender and she is naked both physically and emotionally. It is a scene of desperation and one that speaks to her complete helplessness over the addiction that had consumed her very existence. It is, in a word, sad. <br /><br />RIP Amy Winehouse.SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-88656277038265745422011-07-11T09:24:00.000-05:002011-07-11T09:25:38.959-05:00The Real Price That Deadbeat Parents PayMany of the myths surrounding child support continue to shock and surprise me, even 16 years into my own process. As I peruse child support forums in preparation for this blog, and for my own information, there are several fairytales that persist. The most common one is this: The money I pay to my ex does not go to my kid. Every single time a parent paying $30 or $100 per week makes this allegation I am torn between laughing and screaming. The kids in question needs clothing, food, shelter, education, social activities, medical care, haircuts, new shoes, a blow dryer, eyeglasses, poster board for a school project, tights for a ballet performance, knee pads for soccer, money for a field trip, and more. You really believe your small amount is going to some other cause? Not a chance. In fact, your small amount does not even begin to impact the real expenses that the child incurs. There are costs you cannot even wrap your brain around, such as having to rent a 2 bedroom apartment for $1,000 versus a one bedroom at $800 because you have a child. Or, buying a home in a great school district for $325,000 versus one in a mediocre district for $275,000. <br /><br />The fact of the matter is that the custodial parent has no choice in paying for these expenses, whether the non-custodial parent pays up or not. Can she go to the school and say “Sorry, can’t pay tuition until my ex pays me”? Can she tell the child, “Nope, no new eyeglasses until Daddy comes through”? No, the expenses need to be paid and the custodial parent just prays that the money comes through…eventually….someday. If there is such a concept of economic or fiscal abuse, this is it. And it is abuse that the custodial parent cannot walk away from. <br /><br />Something I have heard hundreds of times in my own Child Support Journey is, “All you care about is money”. Funny, only folks that owe other people money say things like this. It is an attempt to make me look petty, superficial and shallow. It does not work and fails to affect me personally, because I know that whether the money is there or not I am still on the frontlines of parenting taking care of financial needs, emotional needs, academic needs, social needs and basic needs. I need to do that whether I have gotten $100 in the last month or $100 in the last year. My duties as a parent endure, even as the flow of money stops. The bottom line is this: The money matters. <br /><br />Still, deadbeat parents do pay a price that is much higher than just the money piece. I have yet to talk to a deadbeat parent that has a close and loving relationship with their child. In fact, the older the child gets the more they realize the truth of the matter even as the custodial parent never says a word about her financial strain. In my own case, I never once spoke to my child about the money owed as I felt that this was a burden that a child does not need thrust upon their shoulders. On the other hand, I also never once withheld visitation in some nasty effort to punish my ex. My very wise divorce attorney told me early on that money and visitation are completely separate issues and that one has no bearing on the other. He also said that I should always do the right thing even as the other parent did the wrong thing, because if we ever end up back in court I will want to stand before the judge with clean hands. There were years where I got zero dollars even as my child visited his father nearly every weekend.<br /><br />As Bradley matured, though, the truth of the matter became evident to him and he knew that a man that did not care for his child from a financial perspective did not care about him at all. The easy part is going to the park or the movies or riding bikes with your kid. The hard part is putting your child’s financial needs ahead of your own and saying to yourself, “Gee, I really need to get in shape and would love a gym membership, but my child needs braces”. Know how often a custodial parent that is owed money says such things to themselves? Daily. <br /><br />Now, so many years later, my son has turned into an amazing young man ready to start college in six weeks. Two years ago he opted on his own and for very personal reasons to walk away from his father for good. And, he has never looked back. His biological father did not see him graduate from high school, will not see him graduate from college, will not see him marry, and will never know his grandchildren. He will never know the pain of sharing Bradley’s heartaches or the pure joy as he has fallen in love with a lovely young woman. He will not be there to help select a graduate school, fuss over buying the perfect first car or help straighten his tie for his first job interview. <br /><br />He has sold all of this privilege, all of this honor, all of this blessing for five digits worth of past due support. What a shame for him.SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-21528525874062595012011-07-08T12:31:00.000-05:002011-07-08T12:32:23.820-05:00A Broken Child Support SystemI would like to preface this blog, and all related blogs to follow, by saying that I am not a child support collection expert. I am not an attorney, financial advisor or CPA. I am just a mother that desperately wants what is best for her children, including protecting their financial interests. I would also like to mention that the current support owed to me by my first husband is a staggering $70,000. Bear in mind that this is support only and does not include 50% of other owed expenses such as medical insurance, day care expenses, and school tuition. If we crunched those numbers, we would be closer to $100,000. The current order that is in place for this case, not that it seriously matters because the ex could care less, is a mere $70 per week. This means that if I started get support today…literally, today…that he would be all paid up sans any interest in 1,000 weeks. For those of you without a calculator handy, this is about 20 years. Yes, I will be collecting child support at the same time I am collecting Medicare. Even as I reflect on this, my stomach twists and turns in a maddening cocktail of rage, astonishment and pure helplessness. <br /><br />While I live in Illinois, I also have experience with the child support system in both Ohio and Florida. However, it seems that Illinois is light-years behind many other states when it comes to child support enforcement and my case is no exception. I wonder at times if I am too lax in my approach or too patient in waiting for what is owed me. The fact of the matter is that it takes time, energy and money to pursue delinquent child support and I am short on all of those things. As a freelance writer, if I am not at home working on a project for a client then I do not get paid. I do not have the luxury of abandoning my work in pursuit of money that I know in my gut I may never receive. <br /><br />In the last 6 months I have traveled four times more than 120 miles round-trip to the Lake County Courthouse in Waukegan, Illinois. This is nearly 500 miles and with gas nearing $4 per gallon I have spent $100 in order to get a zero net return. Obviously, this does not even include the money I could be making if I were at home for those hours actually making money. Yes, I would end up making more money if I simply stopped pursuing child support. How sickening is that?<br /><br />My current husband, who is pragmatic almost to a fault, believes that I should simply wash my hands of the matter and if money floats our way, so be it. And if it does not, I will have saved myself money, endless tears and nonstop aggravation. He knows that this outstanding balance will never evaporate and that it will eventually catch up with the ex. He knows that in a thousand different ways our lives are more magnificent than the ex could even hope to imagine for himself. Of course, he is right. But let’s not tell him that….yet. <br /><br />Because my case is being handled by the Illinois States Attorney’s office I am at their mercy regarding whether they actually act on my case. I cannot reach anyone by phone, by fax or by mail. For those who have never lived within the child support system, you probably imagine that as soon as a check is missing you can pick up the phone and say, “Well, he is late again. Please do something”. It simply does not work like that. In the 16 years that I have been dealing with this matter, I have stood before a judge a total of three times. The first time was six months ago when the ex asked for a reduction in support (granted). A reduction? Are you freaking kidding me? The second time was a month ago when the judge wanted (after I pleaded a bit previously) an update on the exes employment status. In that case, he never even showed up and so the case was continued until yesterday. Yes, read that again…he never even showed up to court. Surely something happens in that case, right? I mean, contempt or a fine or something? Nothing. I stood in front of the judge feeling as though my head was going to explode. It did not and I drove home with tears streaming down my cheeks. <br /><br />There is so much to this case that I will continue nearly daily updates on this until either I get a bit of money or I finally take my husband’s advice to walk away from this frustrating journey. Stay tuned as tomorrow I will outline for you just what my ex is missing out on, when it comes to my amazing son and why my son has made his own choice to walk away from his biological father.SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-63165116652677329092011-07-06T08:15:00.003-05:002011-07-06T12:55:42.003-05:00Tips for Reducing Healthcare ExpensesWhether you have health insurance with your current employer or you are self-insured, there is no question that healthcare expenses are too much for the average household budget. In fact, according to a 2007 Harvard University study 62% of the personal bankruptcies that occur in the United States are due to unmanageable medical expenses. While this percentage has decreased a bit in the subsequent few years, it is still holding at greater than 50%. Because of this, folks are looking for ways to possibly reduce what they spend on healthcare for themselves and their family. Following are several great tips that may help you in keeping healthcare expenses low. <br /><br />Insurance Via Your Employer<br />If you are employed and have insurance through your employer, you should request from your supervisor or Human Resources Department a full outline of all of your health insurance options. In some cases, employees are offered a variety of plans (HMO, PPO, POS) through the same insurance company. Given these three options, HMOs will nearly always end up being the most cost economical. While restrictions apply to HMOs, most people find that this plan more than satisfies all of their healthcare needs and is a plan that is very easy to work with. If you follow all of the rules of an HMO (e.g. obtaining referrals, staying in network, etc.), you will procure the maximum benefit levels allowed by the plan. In fact, you will likely have no out of pocket expense except for your copayment. If you do not have an HMO option via your employer sponsored plan, you should still consult with your plan administrator to determine if there is any way to reduce your monthly premium expense. For instance, if you have a flexible spending account (FSA) or health savings account (HSA) you may be able to pay for your health insurance premiums with pre-tax dollars. <br /><br />Adjusting Your Deductible<br />If you are self-employed or have retired early you may have to purchase your own health insurance plan without any employer assistance or subsidy. While you will not get the monetary enhancement that you would with an employer sponsored plan, you will have greater control over the expense and insurance options that you choose for your family. The primary way to keep your plan at a reasonable rate is to maintain a high but manageable deductible. If you are young or fairly healthy, this will prove to be a huge cost savings. For instance, the same insurance plan via a national insurance carrier will cost a 30 year old female $174 per month with a $1,000 annual deductible versus $56 per month with a $5,00 deductible. This is a cost savings of $118 per month or more than $1,400 over the course of one year. You should try to find a sensible balance of premium expense and deductible. <br /><br />Short Term Plans<br />If you are temporarily unemployed or an adult college student not eligible for placement on a spouses plan, you should opt for a short term health insurance plan. These policies are very reasonably priced and do provide at least a measure of insurance coverage. At the very least, you will get the insurance carrier discount when seeing a physician. This may mean the difference between paying $75 for an office visit (no insurance) and $57 (insurance plan rate applied). These short term plans are valid for up to 6 months, but may be renewed regularly. As with any other plan, try to find a plan that has a manageable blend of monthly premium expense and annual deductible. There are several online sites that offer short term policies and you can usually know within just a few moments if your application has been approved. <br /><br />Health Insurance Discount Programs<br />Most of the major health insurance companies offer to their members a variety of discount programs in an effort to ensure that they remain healthy and have a reduced number of medical claims. For instance, you may receive 15% off of a gym membership, 20% off of mail-order vitamin supplements or 25% off of a weight management program via a national chain. Contact your health insurance company to see what programs they offer to their members. In most cases, you can view that information right on the carrier’s website. <br /><br />Working With Physicians and Hospitals<br />If you have no insurance at all or your insurance company has paid very little on a high dollar claim, you should appeal directly to the providers for assistance with the outstanding balance. Do not wait to do this while hoping that the outstanding balance will evaporate or you may risk going to collections. You just need to contact the Office Manager of the physician office or the Patient Accounts Department of the hospital and discuss the matter directly with them. In your discussions, be honest with them and tell them that you are experiencing an economic hardship. In the case of a bill for physician services, they may be willing to discount your bill up to 50%. For hospital bills, depending on your financial situation you may have up to 100% of the bill written off. If you approach these folks with honesty and integrity, they will work with you with regards to your outstanding balance. <br /><br />Freebies <br />Both large and small hospitals have health outreach programs for their community and the programs are often free. Services that are offered may include: nutritional counseling, diabetic counseling, exercise programs, pregnancy services, healthy cooking classes, smoking cessation programs, asthma management programs and more. Contact your local hospital to see what they are offering that may be of benefit to you. Also, most of the major health insurance companies have nurses that staff a free hotline for medical inquiries 24 hours a day. They can address questions such as:<br /><br />• What are the symptoms of sunstroke?<br />• What is the difference between a sinus infection and the common cold?<br />• Should I put ice on a sprained ankle?<br />• What should I do with a colicky infant?<br /><br />Finally, another great freebie for you is right at your physician’s office. If your insurance plan does not cover medications, or covers them at a very low level, you should take the time to ask your doctor for samples of any medications you take. The pharmaceutical companies regularly provide to physician offices plenty of samples, which the doctor will be happy to share with you. <br /><br />Whether you are insured, uninsured or underinsured, managing your healthcare expenses can be a real challenge. Using some of these tips should help alleviate some of that burden and ensure that your bank account remains as healthy as you do.SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-74767247697610747442011-07-05T13:31:00.001-05:002011-07-05T13:31:41.078-05:00Breaking News: Casey Anthony is Found Not GuiltyAt about 1:15p CDT the verdict was finally returned in the Casey Anthony trial. As you may know by now, the verdict was not guilty for all of the main charges including first degree murder. She was, however, guilty of providing false information to law enforcement officials in this matter. I believe that I have literally felt my heart fall to the floor as those words….Not Guilty….float from my television and to my unbelieving ears. As I watch tears of relief fall from the eyes of Casey Anthony, the rage is rising within me as I wonder how many tears of grief she has shed for her deceased baby girl. <br /><br />This trial has captured the attention of the nation for a variety of reasons. The little baby girl, Caylee Marie Anthony, was so very cute. So very innocent. So very helpless. And now that the trial has run its course and this shocking verdict is alarming the good folks of our nation, Caylee is also so very without justice as well. In many ways it feels like the O.J. Simpson trial all over again and the hollowness in my heart persists without end. <br /><br />I have not followed this trial as diligently as others, but have gleaned enough to get a real sense for what was going on in this horrible matter. Perhaps it is because I am a mother myself, or perhaps simply because I have a soul, I cannot fathom not turning the world upside down in an effort to find my child who had been missing for four long weeks. Hell, after five minutes of not spotting my kids at a playground I can be found searching every tree, swing and parked car like a lunatic. Albeit, a caring, loving, and protective lunatic. What Casey Anthony has displayed was not just poor parenting, but it was flat out criminal regardless of the insane verdict that was just announced. <br /><br />Caylee Marie Anthony, we will never forget your precious angel face. Caylee Marie Anthony we will never forget that your mother has gotten away with murder. Caylee Marie Anthony we, as a civil society, are so very sorry about this injustice.SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-48217649887549417502011-06-24T19:29:00.000-05:002011-06-24T19:31:18.480-05:00Yet Another Double StandardImagine a scene such as this…<br /><br />A daytime talk show with 4 male co-hosts, average age of about 45, sitting before a live studio audience. The audience is 95% men with an average age of maybe 55. The audience is excited, clapping, laughing and squirming in their seats with near-teenage giddy anticipation. Clearly, something exciting is happening here at Generic Television Studios USA, but what could it be? On stage the co-hosts are as tickled as the audience regarding the impending show featuring one awesome guest. <br /><br />To the roar of clapping, wolf whistles and general shrieking the much-anticipated guest of the day makes her entrance. It is young Miley Cyrus and the middle aged men in the audience and on the stage are going positively crazy with excitement. Some in the audience hold crudely made signs saying “Seniors for Cyrus” and “Work it Girl” and “Marry Me” while others simply wave their hairy arms trying to capture the attention of this teen sensation. The audience is squirming, wiggling in their seats, and droplets of hormonal fueled perspiration are forming around their hairline. Soon the shrieking intensifies…”We love you Miley!” and “Oh, you are sooo cute!” and “Can I take you home?”. Even the co-hosts are adjusting their ties and smiling nervously, unable to contain their enthusiasm for being just this close to a darling teenager. Their ensuing banter is nothing short of flirtatious and the co-hosts do what they can to stroke Miley’s hand and hair while trying to slip their arm around her waist. <br /><br />What do you think of this picture I have painted? Pretty cool, huh? No, I didn’t think so either. I think it borders on some sicko pedophilia and, literally, the thought of it turns my stomach. Grown men treating a young girl in this manner? Ugh.<br /><br />Yet, I was fortunate enough to witness a similar scene just yesterday as I sat down to watch The View when their featured guest was Justin Bieber. They and their audience acted towards him just as I have described above with the Miley Cyrus scenario. And no one seems to be thinking twice about it or thinking that it is grotesque. Except me, of course. Why is that? <br /><br />Probably for the same reason that when a cute female teacher is caught in a sexcapade with a teen boy there are usually snickers all around and comments along the lines of “Wish my teachers in high school looked like that” or “Yeah, he’s one lucky fella”. Is that fair? No. It sure the hell is not. In fact, it is just one more way that gender equality in this country seems eons away. Just when you think we have finally gotten our act together as a society, little tidbits like this chip away at any perceived progress we may have made. A shame, I tell you. It is a damned shame and it should cease sooner rather than later.SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-15880116229048556532011-06-23T09:42:00.006-05:002011-06-23T10:58:17.805-05:00What's Your Problem?!When you talk to people about their childhoods, as I am prone to doing since I am nosy like that, there are typically either a long or short list of complaints that they are quick to register. Maybe their father never said "I love you" or their mother was overbearing or a sibling was clearly the preferred Golden Child. Of course, some complaints are actually rather serious (read: abusive). For the purposes of this blog, that is not truly what I am talking about. I mean, just general bitching and moaning that they were ripped off by not having the ideal childhood. Or, what they presume is ideal. <br /><br />I mention this because I recently interviewed my brother for a book I am writing about our father. This brother, who shall remain nameless for no real reason other than the fact that "remain nameless" sounds cool and mysterious, is the kind of guy that appears to be totally self-sufficient. Really together. Very much in control and wanting for nothing emotionally. One of those people that accepts whatever life has thrown at them and makes the best of it without looking back. No regrets, no repairs required. <br /><br />So I was surprised when this Nameless Brother (still uber mysterious, no?) went on and on during our interview about how he had yearned for more attention, affection and positive reinforcement during his childhood. Even now, some 50 years later, these soft emotions and deep disappointment were so apparent. Believe me, we did not come from a neglectful home and he got, in terms of attention, pretty much about the same amount as any other kids in our upper middle class slice of suburbia. <br /><br />But I don't want to talk about him....this is my blog, so let's bring this back around to me (see, we all crave attention). My own children, Brilliant Bradley and Perfect Paige, have had what I consider a super blessed childhood. Great vacations, constant encouragement, life in a safe subdivision, loads of opportunities, and fully supportive parents. Seriously, in the Championship Of Parenting, my husband and I have successfully landed in the top 10%. <br /><br />Which leads me back around to my first thought -- childhood complaints. I can't help but wonder that when my kids are quizzed by some nosy friend, neighbor or other intrusive freak about their own childhood, what will they say? Since we all have mild to moderate (if we're lucky) complaints about what went down the first 18 years of our lives, what will these kids who share my DNA say? There must be something.....right? How about "My mother loved me too much" or "My dad provided excessive positive reinforcement" or "What, you think it is so great to be told that you are loved a dozen times per day". Maybe it will be like one of those job interviews where you are asked about your weaknesses and you are supposed to present them in such a way that they are actually strengths. "I am too honest" or "I tend to be a perfectionist". Side note: Seriously, do human resources professional actually believe that BS? What do they really think when people say that? Probably that they are hiding some serious personal flaw, like they plan to pilfer the company pens and steal their co-workers ham on rye sandwich from the communal staff fridge. <br /><br />In one way I can peep into the future on this one. My kids are space nearly ten years apart, so in a few years I can quiz 18 year Brilliant Bradley about his childhood and then still have a few good years to fix whatever I have broken with Perfect Paige. Still, I think we are clean. You know why? Because amazing children make parenting easy.SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-65613433410318095202011-06-21T11:23:00.003-05:002011-06-21T12:39:22.765-05:00We Meet AgainAm I the worst blogger in the world? Well, maybe not. I mean, I am not filling this site with homphobic rants (let's leave that to Tracy Morgan), personal attacks on my exes (so not worth my time) or sappy little odes to my children (okay, I am occasionally guilty of that indulgence). I am a Bad Blogger because I am a neglectful blogger. This was to be a chronicle of my amazing life. It was to an open diary that you can peep into and share my joys with me. And here it sits...neglected, dormant, empty and pitiful for lo these many months. Or has it been years? Scroll down and verify for yourself. What am I, your mother? Pull your own weight on this blog. <br /><br />I will not bore you via getting caught up on the highs and lows of our life here in suburban Chicago. There has been parenting challenges, marital bliss with a side of toe-to-toe disputes, awesome vacations and dismal health issues. There has been the blossoming of children, extended family, lines of business and personal growth. Oh, yes, we have all been to that Zen place by now -- Scott heads there via Budweiser, Bradley by way of guitar genius, Paige is All Zen All The Time and I achieved spiritual and undying peace by writing. Okay, that is a lie. I get paid to write and I happen to like it. Most of the time. Writing 500 words about how great silk flowers are or 750 words about 3D televisions can be mind-numbing. The dance to the bank? Uber gratifying. Do you enjoy your job 100% of the time? Smiling around the water cooler, skipping to your office, singing as you type, mold, design, fix, or whatever? Nope, me neither.<br /><br />So enough about me and my neglectful habits. Would it surprise you that I also fail to dilligently floss, haven't cleaned out my freezer since the democrats held the House, and have three Christmas items that have yet to make it to the basement? It seems that you and I are fairly similar, no? Because I neglect so much of my life and control so little of it, I vow here and now to commit to this blog. I want you to come back, I want you to be amused (laugh with me, laugh at me, laugh near me) and I want to get back to writing for me....well, also for those folks that pay the bills as well, but mostly it is all about ME.SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-68344656317837594792009-09-20T06:12:00.005-05:002009-09-20T06:24:34.879-05:00Help, I've Fallen And....I'm Pretty Sure I Can Get UpI have no idea how I came to be in this deep, dark place. My life had been so blessed and I had been seemingly so in control. Now I have drifted into a place that is so murky, so without hope and I feel little control over this demon living within. Yes, I have fallen face first into a bag of Trader Joe’s Kettle Corn and I am clawing my way out.<br /><br />How did this happen to me? It started so innocently, with a few handfuls of the sweetly salty morsels to accompany a bit of Dr. Phil. Lost in the drama unfolding on television, several more fistfuls are driven into my salivating mouth. Come commercial time, the bag is now 80% gone. I ponder finding a Chip Clip to seal the bag, but who wants the remnants of this disaster? Plus, shame falls around me and I sincerely want all evidence of this completely out of control moment to vanish. Shaking the final bit of delectable dust into my mouth, the bag is quickly crumpled into it’s smallest possible form and shoved deep into the kitchen garbage can.<br /><br />No control. That is the only way to describe it. This was a ground breaking moment for me and I knew that without control in this corner of my life, I was certain to lose it in other areas as well. Next thing you know the kids will have no clean clothes, the cable will be shut off, the dog will never make it to the groomers and poor Scott will suffer having a fridge barren of Budweiser.<br />I have been thin all my life. I was the kind of girl that you hated, the one that could eat with abandon and exercise was a foreign term. Yes with these habits, and at 5’7”, I was around 110 through my late teens, 115 in my twenties and 125 in my thirties. I was usually a size 6 or 8, but had occasional size 4 moments when life was particularly hectic. The most I ever weighed was 165 when I was nine months pregnant and retaining gallons of water due to preeclampsia. I still remember the horror of looking at that number in the doctor’s office. The fact that the weight gain was due to a serious medical condition took back seat to concern over that much-too-large number.<br /><br />Once I hit forty my body changed in ways I never could have imagined, with weight gain being just one component of the roller coaster ride (my very patient husband can fill you in on some of the other peri-menopausal joys). Each year I would pack on five or six mystery pounds, thus forcing me to buy a new wardrobe every season. It was befuddling to me, as I knew that none of my habits had changed. It was just this damn body I was stuck in, one that no longer felt like my own.<br /><br />I vowed that the Kettle Corn incident would be the last out of control moment of my life. Not only was I increasingly not happy with how I looked, I was not pleased with the way I felt about myself as a person. Grown women should not hand over their power to a bag of snack foods…or chocolate…or cheesecake. Further, what sort of example am I setting for my children?<br /><br />So this was my break through moment. Yes, it happened very (very!) recently, thus my journey has just begun. The first step of my path was realizing that what I had done historically was not working for me and what I needed was to change direction in my life. I didn’t yet know if that meant Weight Watchers or aerobics or even taping my mouth shut. But, a change was in order and I have now committed myself to a lifestyle change. Won’t you join me, even as a spectator, on this voyage?SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-15142030407754282742009-06-02T16:44:00.003-05:002009-06-02T16:49:50.415-05:00Jon & Kate Plus 8 = Addictive TVLast night at 8:00 I coerced my family to huddle ‘round the television with me and watch with great interest the newest episodes of “Jon & Kate Plus 8”. Six year old Paige willingly joined in, but sixteen year old Bradley and 40-something Scott were less than enthusiastic. After a series of my “Didn’t I watch the hockey play-offs?” and “I watched the top 100 heavy metal song show with you!” remarks they complied and sunk deep into their respective chairs. I could feel the glares upon me, but pressed on like any voyeuristic soldier.<br /><br /><br />I adore this show. Now, more than ever, I am completely enthralled. I started kinda-sorta watching a few years back at it’s inception, intrigued by the magnitude of their family and how they seemed to pull it all together. I think any parent struggling to toilet train one child or coping with one picky eater is interested in how parents of multiples handle dealing with these issues in bulk.<br />Plus, it was rather amusing the sort of verbal jousting they engaged in and how despite it all they seemed to have genuine affection for each other. Jon’s rolling eyes, Kate’s mocking attitude, their secretive defiance of each other….all so engaging. Oh, and of course those too cute kids. Cute as a button, all eight of them.<br /><br /><br />So I would watch this reality show now and again if I happened to stumble upon it, hoping to glean a helpful parenting tidbit or two. I learned, for instance, to stop catering to my own Picky Paige and just serve her what we are having for dinner (parents of multiples just don’t have the time or energy to run a Denny’s out of their kitchen). Paige has yet to starve herself, thank goodness, and has even learned to love mushrooms.<br /><br /><br />Then the drama hit. Allegations of affairs, infighting, separation and painful coexistence were all the talk and suddenly my passive interest in the show rose to a new level and my interest was quite captured. It was like peering into the window of your perfect neighbors and having an All Access Pass to their pain. It isn’t joy or amusement that I feel at watching all of this transpire - more like simply odd curiosity. The first episode of the season last week had record viewership, everyone wanting to see…would they sit together on the couch, would they address the rumors, would they admit to being in a failing marriage?<br /><br /><br />So we watched. And waited. And mostly was delivered what we expected, leaving little to speculation. By appearances, we are watching the beginning or middle of a dying relationship. It is with sickening fascination that we watch, but we watch all the same. Perhaps to feel better about our own thriving marriage, possibly to feel superior to this Oh-So-Perfect Kate, maybe just to align ourselves to one of the parties. To me it all feels just plain sad. Yet, there I sit with my family insisting that we click over to TLC, compelled to see what is next for this family.<br /><br /><br />I now find myself also seeking out reruns of “Jon & Kate Plus 8”, hoping to decode old episodes to see if there are clues to what is presently happening. As my husband will tell you, I have a need to overanalyze things and try to get to the genesis of all things troublesome. Oh, yeah ~ Scott is one lucky guy! I would like to think that I am putting my Psych degree to good use.<br /><br /><br />I know that there is a whole other side to this drama that the cameras will never capture. I know that I would never sign up for this and have my guts on display for all the world to examine. I know that the eight kids are sure to suffer in the midst of all this and certain to harbor some resentment when they are old enough to process this nonsense.<br /><br /><br />I also know that I will tune in again next week. If the producer’s goal was to hook us helpless viewers with the dangling carrot of a deteriorating marriage…mission accomplished. Ah, we are such suckers.SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-3457016987772421162009-05-18T12:07:00.003-05:002009-05-18T12:09:20.964-05:00Middle GroundWhew…I just signed off of a heated political debate via Facebook and I am thoroughly exhausted. It wasn’t so much a debate as it was a unrelenting attack on my liberal positions. I should have known better than to step into conservative territory, but since Paige doesn’t need to be picked up from Kindergarten for a few more hours I had some time to kill. Laundry and freelance writing be damned, I was fully engaged in this.<br /><br />It all started with a discussion about whether the concept of “middle ground” on political topics exist. This is, of course, in light of President Obama’s recent speech at Notre Dame wherein he encouraged the recent graduates to seek middle ground as it relates to heated political topics.<br /><br />I am of the mindset that middle ground does exist. My dear debating opponents, it seems, did not. In fact, one threw out the comment, “Middle ground? What is that, like half an abortion?”. Naturally, visions of those propaganda images featuring bloodied partially aborted fetuses flashed through the minds eye of all debate participants and future debate was sullied. Seemed like a fairly low blow, as well as off topic, but I let that one slide. My concept of middle ground as it pertains to abortion was more along the lines of an agreed ban on late term abortions or increasing sex education funding as a way to lessen the current abortion rate. Did anyone hear me? I think not.<br /><br />The debate got nastier from there and I respectfully bowed out. My opponents may very well have seen that as a sign of weakness or a “Ha! Gotcha! What now, liberal?” moment. For my part, I always have a sense for when a debate is fruitful versus hostile and know when to say when. Self-preservation, my friends, and I am not about to let additional personal attacks ruin an otherwise sunny and productive day.<br /><br />However, I sincerely resent the diminishing mass of conservatives viewing us liberals as the sadly misguided, poor uninformed, desperately-needing-to-see-the light fools. Most liberals I know have come to their position by educating themselves and engaging in due diligence when it comes to controversial topics. In this case, prayer just isn’t gonna cut it.<br /><br />Further, most liberals have a real understanding of the positions of conservatives while at the same time vehemently disagreeing and holding their ground. Conservatives, on the other hand, see the opposing viewpoint as simply wrong and the person holding said position just needs to be enlightened. No, thank you. Really…no thank you.<br /><br />Oh, and the benevolent offers to pray for my soul as well? I’m good. But those children suffering abuse at the hands of their caretakers or soldiers on the front lines in Iraq or angst laden teenagers contemplating suicide? Kindly send your prayers their way.SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-22477616097016768272009-04-22T09:07:00.003-05:002009-04-22T09:19:08.072-05:00Believe it ~ You Can Go Home AgainNot long ago I was back in my hometown Arlington Heights, Illinois and, as always, just being there stirred up wonderful memories and feelings. I was there to take my mother-in-law, Audrey, in for a routine colonoscopy and had some time to kill between the drop off and the pick up. I took the opportunity not to do something productive as I usually would, like clean Audrey’s bathrooms or walk her dogs. I decided to be completely indulgent and take my own personal stroll down memory lane. Because I have been best friends with my husband, Scott, since age 12 many of these are memories that we share as a couple, making them all the sweeter.<br /><br /><br />I started off at Arlington High School, driving on both the Ridge Avenue and Walnut Avenue sides of the campus. I remembered “borrowing” my brother’s white Vega when I was 14 (okay, I stole it while he was hung over) and driving by the school, certain that everyone would see what hot stuff I was. I remembered walking the nearly 1 ½ miles to campus one warm 1980 fall day wearing spike heeled clogs, sure that my feet were bleeding beneath me, but more sure that fashion always took precedence over comfort. I remembered going to the very top bleachers of the Grace Gym and making out with my boyfriend when I should have been on the lower level of the school at lunch. To this day I remember the halls of that school as though I passed through them just yesterday.<br /><br /><br />My journey through Arlington Heights progressed to downtown, which I just barely recognize anymore. What used to be a sleepy Chicago suburb is now home to soaring condos and chichi bistros. The folks walking the streets downtown are no longer families with 3 or 4 or 5 kids heading to Hagenbrings for new spring clothing, but rather ambitious young professionals and the occasional gay couple. There remains only snippets of my old world, like the Dunton House restaurant or the amazing community library. I paused in front of each grand establishment, allowing the memories to wash over me.<br /><br /><br />I trekked back to my childhood home on Dunton Avenue and on my way saw where large McMansions have replaced many of the smaller 3 bedroom/2 bath homes. I saw houses where I went to parties and parks where we went to drink Southern Comfort we had swiped from our parent’s basement bar. I saw the elementary school where I threw up in the hallway in 5th grade and just knew my life was over at that moment. I drove by the junior high school where I first met Scott, clearly not knowing then that this skinny, smiling, goofy boy would one day be my beloved life partner. Finally on Dunton Avenue my childhood home looked smaller than I recalled, but the rush of love and nostalgia I felt at simply viewing it was indescribable. I resisted the urge to knock on the door and demand to be let in my home, but still can’t believe someone else has taken up residence in <strong><em>my house</em></strong>.<br /><br /><br />It was time to head back to Northwest Community Hospital, to retrieve Audrey and settle her back at her home with her two endlessly annoying and still-peeing-in-the-house poodles. Listening to what they now claim is the <em>“oldies”</em> station I made my way back south on Kennicott Avenue, still somewhat lost in 1972 (“Day After Day” by Badfinger”) or perhaps 1977 (“I’m In You” by Peter Frampton), or maybe it was 1981 (“Urgent” by Foreigner). I was all smiles, so giddy with memories that I couldn’t wait to rush back to my own home several suburbs to the west and coerce Scott to join me on this stroll down Memory Lane. Hubby is more of a “look to the future guy” rather than a “focus on the past man“, but we were gonna reminisce damnit!<br /><br /><br />Then, in the midst of my musing and driving I saw it. Right there, parked in the front of a tidy brick ranch house, was the exact car I learned to drive in. Same color (kind of copper/gold), same model (Caprice Classic) and same year (1978). It was as though the spirits were following me on this journey and simply to amuse themselves they dropped this auto in front of me. I was stunned to the point that I actually stopped my SUV, much to the annoyance of another mammoth SUV driver directly behind me, who promptly gave me the finger. I got chills just looking at this car, sure that it was a mighty sign from above. As I stared, my heart suddenly pounding, I saw it…<br /><br /><br />AV license plates. AV as in “Antique Vehicle”. AV?! Antique?! It was just yesterday, or maybe 10 years ago, 15 at the most that I learned to drive in that car. Right? Let’s see ~ ~ I am 45 years old and learned to drive at age 16, so that would be…umm….29 years ago. No!! It can’t be. Let me check that again ~ April 2009 minus October 1963 equals 45, minus spring 1979 equals…<strong>Antique Vehicle</strong>. It was like a cruel slap in the face, this aging vehicle staring back at me with it’s a.m. radio featuring WLS and it’s bench seats so perfect for canoodling on dates. I am snapped back to reality and the joys of routine mammograms and mortgages and child rearing. If I choose to now I can buy my own Southern Comfort and parks are now for swinging not swigging. Shoes are a comfortable necessity in this stage of my life and heels are reserved only for date night. I <em>am</em> the antique and my kids are not likely to dispute that.<br /><br /><br />Like the 1978 Caprice Classic I would like to think I have aged well. But you know what? With every passing year it matters less and less, because there is just no stopping the passage of time. Botox be damned and time marches forward. Those memories of Arlington Heights, though, are amazingly priceless. And the next time Audrey needs my taxi services the peeing poodles will just have to wait as this jaunt into my precious past has just begun.SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-17996202574365209672009-04-01T13:41:00.003-05:002009-04-01T13:56:32.726-05:00Clipping Coupons Sucks...Or Does It?<span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">Okay, Family, let’s economize! Come on, it will be fun ~ ~ BIG fun! I can practically hear the whoops, whistles & cheers. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">I’ll admit, that’s not exactly how it all went down around here on Canyon Lane when I lost my job last May. There were tears (mine), concerned portfolio review (Scott) and general whining (kids). Since that moment 10 months ago we have sincerely rallied ’round and are making things really work. Our new life is different from our old life, but it is not inferior. Just….<em>different</em>. And as a courtesy to all of you, I am willing to let loose with some of our family secrets and hope that they will be of benefit to your own little world. </span><br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;"><strong>JUST WAIT</strong><br />No, not as in “just wait ‘til your father gets home” or “just wait ‘til you have kids of your own” (not that those phrases never hit the walls of our home). More like, just wait to get your hair cut. Just wait to see that first run movie. Just wait until something goes on sale. Just wait to buy a new car. Several months ago we found ourselves just too busy to get the dog groomed and so we bathed and brushed her ourselves. It was no big deal and actually quite fun for the kids. <em>Lightbulb!!</em> If each of us (dog included) skipped just two hair cuts per year (waiting 2 months between cuts rather that our usual 6 weeks) we would save $300 in a year. Of course, this was an easy sell to our 16 year old budding rock star, Bradley, whose current mission is to cultivate a Peter Frampton-ish (circa 1976, of course) blond mane. Still, $300 is serious cash! Wait once a month until that first run movie hits HBO? Save another $600 per year! I’m liking this. </span><br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;"><strong>CUT BACK, DON’T CUT OUT<br /></strong>One of our special treats each weekend was for Scott & I to take Paige out for a big breakfast each Saturday after her gymnastics class. The tab wasn’t huge ($35 or so), but we decided to review this practice all the same. Our new tradition is to go out for breakfast only once per month and on the other Saturdays we hit this local donut shop that makes amazing homemade donuts that run us only $6.00 per dozen. This shift has resulted in a savings of about $1,000 over the course of the year. Again…liking this!</span><br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;"><strong>KEEP WHAT IS IMPORTANT</strong><br />There are certain areas of spending that we have opted just not to touch, for various and personal reasons. For instance, Paige’s gymnastics and ballet classes. The joy and personal development that she realizes from these classes is well worth the cost. We will not, however, be adding any additional activities to her schedule and will limit her to just two for the near future. We also hold great value to travel and have not yet given up our one big vacation of the year. We do keep to a schedule and a budget, and the kids had an amazing time at Mount Rushmore this past summer. We have also maintained Date Night. Oh, and Scott’s Budweiser supply is not to be toyed with (or as he calls it “12 full ounces of cool, refreshing marital therapy”….he is kidding, right?).</span><br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;"><strong>PAY ATTENTION</strong><br />Look around you and you can literally see your home eating up electricity and, thus, your hard earned dollars. Pay attention to what is going on around you and make changes where you can, such as: </span><br /></span><span style="font-family:georgia;"><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">--Open the dishwasher before the drying cycle begins & allow the dishes to air dry<br />--Turn off lights (duh)<br />--Don’t dry your clothes in the dryer until they are crackling with static, but rather take them out just a smidge short of full on dry<br />--Use your slow cooker rather than your oven<br />--Train the kids to take shorter showers (no kidding, Kayla once took a one hour shower)<br />Adjustments like this can save you about $800 per year or more. </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;"><strong>GROW UP & PAY UP<br /></strong>Allow the older kids to pitch in for what they want. I say “allow” rather than “make” because I think you are giving children a great gift when you give them tools to help themselves and they can feel the supreme thrill of self-sufficiency. Want a new cell phone? Help pay the bill. Want a $75 pair of shoes, rather than the $35 ones I have selected? Then you can pay the $40 difference. I have watched in awe as the kids take great care with items that they have helped to purchase, while the stuff I buy gets tossed to the floor, stepped on & abused. </span><br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:georgia;"><strong>SPEAK UP<br /></strong>Now more than ever, there is no shame in watching carefully where your money goes. Talk to your friends and family, share your stories, and work together to weather this storm. Every week for the past several months someone I know has lost their job. This is absolutely not an exaggeration. Some of these people are near & dear to me (my brother) and some are simply casual or online acquaintances. Know what I have noticed across the board? No one panics. No one freaks out. No one loses their temper. Every one of these people seems to have almost made peace with their unemployment before it even happened. There are honest, forthright, and engaging conversations that have ensued. “If you know anyone looking for a Financial Analyst, give them my number”, “Do you know how to file for Unemployment?”, “Should I put this volunteer job on my resume?”, “I am feeling good today, thanks for listening” and “This may just be the best thing that ever happened to me”. Conversations you never would have dreamed of having ten years ago, such as concern about paying the bills, are as common now as nonsensical small talk about Brittany Spears or the newest Starbucks delight. I find this new and honest atmosphere so refreshing, don’t you?</span><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;">Ya know, the tide will turn. I am sure of it. I think we have been too spoiled for too long and this is now the end of the road. Look at the blessings in your life and build from there. More importantly, know that you are not alone. And never will be.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;"></span>SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-78647029028236789082009-02-17T12:14:00.000-06:002009-02-17T12:15:27.757-06:00Date Night RevisitedSo, the Economic Recovery House Meeting/Scott + Sue Date Night of two weeks ago (yeah…so on top of this blog) was amazing.<br /><br />The meeting was held in Batavia, Illinois on the second floor of an older, riverfront tavern. This wasn’t the closest meeting to us, geographically speaking, but it certainly posed the most intriguing invitation (read: alcohol was served). There was a relaxed, yet energizing mood pulsating about the room. The first order of business was a round of introductions. About 25 of us took a shot at standing in front of the mini-crowd and explaining what has brought us to the meeting. Most spoke out of fear ~ “I haven’t opened my 401K statement since last year”. “What if I can’t find a job when I graduate?”, “Business has been so slow lately”, “What are we leaving for my grandchildren?”, and more. The room contained more women than men and the average age was about 55. I guess I was expecting a younger crowd, but frankly I was just happy to see so many warm and welcoming faces. At my turn I spoke about how I was there for selfish reasons -- that so much of what is happening lately is hitting much too close to home, as my husband is self-employed, I am now unemployed, we have college-bound teenagers (plus a kindergartener) and we carry our own health insurance….quite the cocktail for economic uncertainty. Diane, a substitute teacher married to an accountant, whispered to me, “You know, years ago we just never spoke about these things! Finances were private and even if you weren’t faring well you kept it to yourself. That is all changing.”. So true, Diane.<br /><br />After the round of introductions we were treated to two videos: one by President Barack Obama and one by Governor Tim Kaine. Both were inspiring, thought provoking and informative. Still, many more questions remain unanswered such as when will this crisis pass, what can we do individually to help and what does the proposed stimulus package mean to us?<br /><br />Following the two videos we broke out into smaller groups of about 6 each and were instructed to discuss individual topics (e.g., the environment, Wall Street, health care) and come up with a plan as to how to help the Democratic Party (and, in turn, the community and nation as a whole). Our little group performed miserably with our assignment….D- for us. Honestly, we didn’t have any answers. At some point I wanted to holler over to the moderator, “Hey! If Washington does not have a clear path what makes you think we do?”. Alas, I did not and we moved on to chatting about what an arrogant ass Rush Limbaugh is or how anyone can take Ann Coulter seriously. It was great fun to be surrounded by like-minded folks who were as desperate for answers as we were.<br /><br />While this non-traditional date night was fun for both Scott and I (dinner later at California Pizza Kitchen was lovely as well), it left us searching for more. We are unwilling to wait for this Economic Stimulus package to step in like a virtual super-hero & save all of us financially. We, like our cohorts at the tavern, want to know what we as individuals can do to get this all back on track. Do we shop local vendors? Do we rearrange our investment portfolio? Do we donate more to the local food pantry? What what what?!?!<br /><br />We still have no answers and, as of today, no stimulus package ready to swoop in to save us all. If you have answers, kindly share with the rest of the class. Until then, we will anxiously await the next meeting (if we get invited again, refer to the aforementioned failed group project) and I will then share with you.<br /><br />I promise ~ ~ the next blog will be so much more cheerful…even if I have to bore you with stories about my kids, dog & husband!SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-36188749964551826682009-02-04T13:12:00.002-06:002009-02-04T14:02:21.086-06:00Date NightIn a non-stop effort to Keep The Love Alive in our marriage, Scott and I take special pains to make sure that we have date night every few weeks or so. Sure, we usually end up talking about the kids or the business or other topics that marriage experts claim should be <em>verboten</em> during these romantic interludes, but that is just what our lives are all about these days. And frankly, just being out of the house and having dinner without hostile teenagers or a six year old diva who will melt at the very thought of Chez Restaurant not having pink crayons<em><strong> (Blue! Brown! An outrage -- Garcon, some assistance please!)</strong></em> is treat enough for the two of us. A little lingering, some hand holding, sharing a decadent dessert…..we live for these brief moments.<br /><br />So this Friday will be date night once again for the two of us. Can I hear an AMEN?! This week, though, we are trying something different. No elegant restaurant, no R rated movie, no stroll through the park. This Friday we are going to….drum roll, please…to an <strong>“Economic Recovery House Meeting” </strong>as brought to us by the fine people at www.mybarackobama.com. I can not tell you how sincerely we are both looking forward to getting out, stretching our brains and really networking with other intellectuals (perhaps pseudo-intellectuals -- I‘ll let you know!). As the invitation email states, it is time for all us to all step up and do our part to turn around the economic situation in this country. We can not sit idly by and pray that our elected officials put into place what they so vehemently promised to us just a few short months ago. Now is the time to not only hold their collective feet to the fire, but also time that we become champions and activists for our own best interests. For the moment, and at least until we attend the meeting in two days, I am not 100% certain how that will play out in our day-to-day lives. What I can tell you with certainty, though, is that both Scott & I are no longer willing to simply be passengers on this train and now insist on being part of the solution.<br /><br />Yes, this will be a completely different sort of date night for us. Somehow, though, I feel as though this sort of rallying spirit will make our marriage stronger. There is something magical when you are married about putting your collective heads together and share a common vision. It could be a financial vision, a religious purpose, a parenting choice or something much more complex. Doing so reminds you why you married this person and reassures you that you are never going it alone. Sometimes these visions are intrinsically the same and sometimes they merge through the process of negotiation and time.<br /><br />Seriously, I don’t know what I would have done had I fallen in love with a Republican. Or worse still…and I shudder at this thought…someone apathetic.<br /><br /><strong><em>To date night!!! {insert wine glasses clinking & Sinatra music} </em></strong>SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-15021800803174699972009-01-14T12:28:00.001-06:002009-01-14T12:31:00.647-06:00Whose Your Buddy? Whose Your Pal?Oprah says we should “Live Our Best Life” and this mantra can be found on all things Oprah ~ magazine, satellite radio program, daytime television show, feminine product line. Wait…she has not hit that market yet. Stay tuned. Anyhoo, she and her cult are likely on to something. It really should not take a multi-gazillionaire mogul to chant this to you, but while we are listening to her we may as well take heed.<br /><br />I have always thought it peculiar that people always treat others better than they treat themselves. Still, I am as guilty of this offense as the next mom/wife/employee/neighbor. We give this fabulous advice to our kids or sisters or PTA cohorts, yet fail to follow this same advice as it applies to our own lives. Why is that? It seems we can chastise Sally to dump her unemployed boyfriend or support Mandy in her pursuit of an interior design career, while our own relationships collapse around us and we continue to toil away at a career that at this point is nothing more than a paycheck….and a crappy one at that. It is time, My Friends, to become your own best friend! Not in a creepy, never-leaving-the-basement, self-absorbed kind of way. But in the way that allows you to treat yourself kindly, to forgive your own human sins, or to coax yourself out of a less than ideal circumstance. <br /><br />Have you ever sincerely examined the real issues of your life and wondered what a true friend would say to you? She (or he) would never call you a fat loser pig for indulging in some raw cookie dough. Still, this is our own self-dialogue. A real pal would never tell you that you are too imperfect to apply for that management position within your company. Yet, “Loser, Underachiever, Slacker” repeats through your head like an evil twin every time you think of making that long trek to the Human Resources Department to examine this amazing possibility. Would you ever in a million years say those same belittling things to someone you truly cared for? No….and neither would I. If you are engaging in this destructive behavior, stop it this minute. I mean it…done….finished! Just as I am hollering this loving advice to you, I will listen to it myself. <br /><br />I am not perfect, my husband is not perfect and my kids are not perfect. Hell, the world is not perfect -- just ask the mother of a slain child or a sexual assault victim or someone losing their precious home to foreclosure. The key is to deal with the circumstance you have been presented with and be kind to yourself as you work through it to the best of your ability. Patience, too, will be key.<br /><br />Yep - Live Your Best Life, just as the Big O says. And start that journey with the kindness you always reserve for others and heap it upon yourself. Believe me, you can never have too many BFFs ~ ~ even if the biggest, bestest one is looking right back at you in the mirror.SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-86183267585569366252009-01-12T12:45:00.001-06:002009-01-12T12:47:15.610-06:00Life Is Too Short2009.…so this is it? Not bad so far. As always, I am a bit behind the curve on this whole “New Years Resolution” deal. But I have given the concept great thought this time around and things will really change this year. Not just because Barack Obama will be taking office (can I hear an “AMEN”??) or that Kayla will be leaving the nest this summer or that economy will continue to keep all of us on edge. Yes, those things are sure to be in the 2009 cocktail of our life, but the real change has come from a shifting of our collective mindset and the way we are viewing our currently unstable world. <br /><br />To that end, there is no New Years Resolution list. In it’s place, here is my “Life Is Too Short To…” list.<br /><br /><em><strong>Life is too short…</strong></em>To not really get to know your neighbors and make them a substantial part of your life. These are the people that will grow old with you, that will notice if you have not picked up your newspaper, that will watch over your house as you head to your father’s funeral, that will cut your lawn should you fall ill. To not make the very best of these relationships is downright foolish.<br /><br /><em><strong>Life is too short…</strong></em>To carry around regret. Regret is a wasted emotion that benefits no one and taints past memories. For the most part, people do the very best they can given the circumstances of that moment in their life. Be nice to yourself and move on.<br /><br /><em><strong>Life is too short…</strong></em><br />To hold onto anger. The person you are cursing, that did you wrong, that hurt your feelings or stepped on your toes has moved on with their life. Do you really think that they give you a second thought? Your anger does not affect their day-to-day movements and only acts like a weight around your own soul. Let it go. You do not need to even make peace with the other person or let them know that you have chosen to put the past behind you. Make it a silent gift to yourself. <br /><br /><em><strong>Life is too short</strong></em>…<br />To ignore a teachable moment with your children. When your kids ask you a question, give them a real answer in place of a quick or easy answer. This applies not only to your preschooler or third grader, but will prove to be just as important to you teenager or young adult. Take a deep breath, take your time and really explain why Grandpa died or why we can’t afford the latest cell phone this time around or why underage drinking is a poor personal choice. If you give a comprehensive, real answer the first time you are asked you are also less likely to field similar questions in the near future. <br /><br /><em><strong>Life is too short…</strong></em>To put your marriage on the back burner. Scott & I go away (just the two of us!) about 3 or four times a year. Usually it is just to a nice hotel or resort within a few hours drive from our house. Once there, we may explore the town, go bowling, head to a museum or just stay put in the hotel for 3 full days. People always ask why we do this or what exactly we are doing on these excursions. Obviously, there is a bit of passion that we indulge in (seriously, what is better than hotel sex?!), but mostly we do a whole lot of talking. Not the kind of chit chat we have at home over dinner, or the drive-by conversations we have as one of us is rushing out the door. Those talks are primarily business in nature…”Did you pick up Bradley’s medication?”, “Don’t forget ballet class is tonight”, “Your brother called last night” or “We’re out of toilet paper”. No, these weekend talks are long, drawn out real conversations. We’ll sit at a bistro and talk endlessly about where we want to go on our next vacation. We’ll walk along the beach, holding hands, dreaming together about the boat we want to buy. We’ll lay in bed, reminiscing about all the goofiness from our childhood. Or we will drive around some small town, wondering aloud why someone would chose to live in this particular TinyTown, USA, especially when there is no McDonalds, Walgreens or Starbucks within 100 miles. It is a blessed few days that sustains us and keeps us endlessly connected. I highly recommend just such a weekend for you and your special someone.SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-6199589158809094282008-12-05T12:07:00.000-06:002008-12-05T12:08:53.346-06:00Okay, People, Let's Move This AlongMy family can’t multi-task, dammit. It is driving me a little bit crazy. The other day I was stirring oatmeal on the stove with my right hand while unloading the silverware from the dishwasher with my left hand. If I had an extra hand or could manipulate my toes like a primate, I can guarantee I would be accomplishing some third mundane task as well. And try as I might, I can’t seem to get these other 4 people in this house to MOVE IT ALONG. Even Misty The Wonder Dog poops a bit slowly for my liking. Sniffing for the perfect spot to unload your business -- is this really necessary? Honestly, I don’t know what my big hurry is ~ ~ step it up so that I can get what, exactly, accomplished? Living in a house as rambunctious as our feels like shoveling snow in the midst of a blizzard. For every juice box I retrieve from the kitchen table, two more will materialize. For every 2 socks I save from Bradley’s floor, 6 more will appear. For every newspaper section I retrieve from….oh, wait….that’s me, the newspaper reader. But you get my point. <br /><br />Scott The Amazing Husband is just about the worst, as far a slow moving goes. He is laid back, nearly to a fault. It’s funny, what I just adored about him as we were dating -- easygoing, even tempered, punctilious -- is driving me just nutty about right now. Come on, buddy, get a little fire in your belly! Must it take 3 minutes to back the car out of the driveway? Move it, move it, move it! The more I bitch, the more he intentionally begins to act like a two toed sloth walking uphill backwards while blindfolded. This sort of passive aggressive behavior amuses only him. Needles to say, he absolutely can not multi-task. If I ask him a series of question…”Hey, how about chicken for dinner? And ya wanna watch that Bruce Willis movie tonight? Oh, did you get the mail yet?”…his response is a predictable “Uh huh”. Excuse me?! Uh Huh to WHAT? So I have to back up, slowly enunciate each question and patiently await his slow and deliberate response. I…..am….Scott…responding… so…..very….slowly…until…I….drive…you…insane.<br />Good grief, by the time all syllables leave his slow motion lips I could care less about the damn chicken and I am out the door to get the mail myself. <br /><br />They did some sort of multi-tasking study awhile back and the results seems to show that doing many things at once does not expedite all tasks, but actually takes more time overall. Poppycock. I don’t buy it. Maybe this scenario works if both tasks are complex, but in my Stay At Home Mom world, many tasks are just simply banal and repetitive. Laundry….every day. Cooking…three times a day. Pick up miscellaneous junk in every room of the house…daily. Drive people here, there and everywhere…all the time. So if I can do more than one thing at once, why wouldn’t I? Ya know, I am not exactly doing brain surgery in this house ~ more like brain draining. I just try to keep these dawdling single-taskers dressed, fed and healthy. Oh, and happy too. I didn’t mention that? Really? Yes, that is at the top of the list ~ happy, happy, joy, joy. Even if it means pouring bowls of cereal while calling my Mother on the phone while picking up Polly Pockets with my oh so limber toes.SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-91716983376415014032008-12-02T13:29:00.001-06:002008-12-02T13:31:45.298-06:00Living With The WHENSAre you suffering from a case of the ‘whens’? You know…My love-life will improve <strong>when</strong> I lose weight. I will get a more satisfying job <strong>when</strong> I finish my degree. Things will feel more peaceful <strong>when</strong> the kids leave home. You keep waiting for the ‘when’ to hit, but what are you doing in the meantime? <br /><br />The other day it occurred to me that I had nothing big I was looking forward to…no ‘when’ hanging out there. My marriage is great, the three kids okee dokee, dog hasn’t yet puked on the good furniture, I’ve made peace with my stay-at-home situation, Scott’s business is taking off. I am still looking forward to small joys, like Christmas or our next vacation or paying off the mortgage. But nothing big is looming in my future. What then if there is no ‘when’? <br /><br />When I was 15 I wanted to be 16 so I could drive. When I was 16 I wanted to be 18 so I could vote. When I was 18 I wanted to be 21 so I could drink. When I was 21 I wanted to be 23 so that my schooling would be behind me. After that I looked forward to engagements and marriages and children and new homes. Done. Done. Done. Done. Perchance I should now create a new ‘when’, force fates hand if you will. Perhaps I should look to fill someone else’s soul, since my is good…for now (seriously, with teenagers stability can be elusive). Volunteering, mentoring, rekindling old friendships, tending to elderly neighbors. This will be the real pathway to peace and happiness ~ looking outside of yourself. More than likely, once you start on that journey what you thought you were looking for will suddenly surround you. Maybe it is already there…have you opened your eyes?<br /><br />If you are in the middle of a ‘when’, you need to take steps get you to your goal. Someone once said that the difference between a dream and a goal is a plan ~ so true! But what actually happens is that people sabotage their own ‘when’ by not taking steps to get them there. The reason? What if the ‘when’ is not ‘the end’…what if you lose weight and your love-life still sucks? What if you finish your degree and you still can’t find an amazing job? What if the kids finally leave home and all you are left with is empty rooms and an even more empty marriage? It’s like we force ourselves to have these distant goals knowing that they will never arrive and knowing that this void will insulate ourselves from doing any real introspection. Instead, you create a fantasy life that will never exist knowing that you can lie to yourself about how you will get there. If you are keeping an eye on the distant future, who is minding the present? In the same was that we admonish people for dwelling on the past, we should exercise caution when eyeballing the future. <br /><br />I don’t have the answer to any of this. Sure, my life is pretty remarkable right now but I know that can change in a heartbeat. I am okay right here, right now…even with no ‘when’ looming. No meditation, no psychoanalysis, no narcotics (hmm…wouldn’t rule that out, though) ~ just a pure acceptance of this life I have. Even I am pretty astounded at the thought of this. And should a ‘when’ fall into my lap when I’m not looking, you’ll be the first to know.SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-83456406777208394102008-11-29T12:40:00.002-06:002008-11-29T12:47:20.713-06:00No Time To Write - Rehashing Old WritingsThe Wall (Originally Written October 2007)<br /><br /> <br /><br />Last night my daughter hit the wall. Not “hit the wall” as in exhaustion in the midst of a marathon or an inability to continue due to obstacles. I wish. No, she literally hit the wall. Scott (hubby) and I, along with 4 year old Paige, were making an emergency run to the local department store. We had picked Paige up at day care just 10 minutes prior and I could not stand one more moment of my baby suffering in ill-fitting shoes. This kid outgrows shoes like a growing teenage boy. So even though the lights still flickered on her pink princess shoes, I determined that they just didn’t fit right. When my now-14 year old, Bradley, was this age the determining factor for when to get new shoes was when the red super-hero lights quit their incessant blinking with every hop, skip and jump. Not so with Paige. So we made the emergency run to the store. We were walking along the three of us, Scott and I deep in conversation. Conversation that now escapes me but likely focused on his compl ete intolerance to shopping in general and his massive distaste for the particular big-box store we were moseying up to. I, too, am not a fan of the big-box store but I am, in fact, a fan of saving money. That said, about once a month we suck it up and march into the local Massive Savings R Us and stock up on the essentials of life such as shampoo, aluminum foil, garbage bag and, oh lest we forget, the super-size box of plain milk chocolate bars that hubby seems addicted to. But this journey to Massive Savings R Us was for the ill-fitting shoes. And just as we were about enter the gleaming clear doors of the store, Paige ran smack into the brick wall. Face first. Blood was spewing, tears were streaming (both hers and mine) and hubby looked uncharacteristically panicked. “What happened?!” we implored. It appears that 4 year old Paige just wanted to see what it was like to walk with her eyes closed. The thought that a brick wall may jump in the way of her little experiment never cros sed her pre-school mind. So there we were, creating a scene right in the front of the store. I have a natural aversion to embarrassment, something that Scott does not share, and wanted to brush this off and keep moving along. Run to the bathroom, grab a wet paper towel and continue on our money saving mission. Hubby saw this as an opportunity to run the other way, but as far as I can recall I blocked his path and told him to “Buck up, buddy!”. Honestly, once we mopped up the blood (while shopping, by the way) and assessed the swollen lip, she really was okay. In the comfort of our family room hours later we went back to analyze the entire scene. How did this happen? Should we have been watching her? We were, in fact, watching her the whole time, but never would have guessed that she would allow herself to smack into a wall. We saw it coming, but clearly she did not. How often does this happen with our kids? Hubby and I have three (the aforementioned 4 year old Paige, 14 year old Br adley, plus 16 year old Kayla) and we always see things coming before they do. All three kids continue to be astonished by this, as if we possess some magical power that allows us to see into their future. But at what point do we stop warning them of impending danger? With the teenagers we seem to just continue the warnings when it comes to the big and bad. Drugs, sex, cheating in school, smoking, that sort of thing. But when it comes to the more mundane, we seem to throw in the towel at some point. If Kayla wants to wear sweatpants with black heels (imagine!!), should we warn her that she will look like a fool? If Bradley wants to wear tennis shoes two sizes too big, do we tell him that he looks like a clown or leave that to his pals? My instinct is to warn them - - “Stop, you look ridiculous!” - - but hubby is more a fan of just letting their peers shape their behavior and shame them into straightening up. This isn’t a matter of letting them express themselves with a goth look or a punk look or something of that ilk. This is more just a general inability to pull together a decent look. And it is not just the way they look. It may be Kayla singing at top volume in public, or Bradley making endless farting sounds. These aren’t the standard dangers, this isn’t the wall they are about to hit, but if they move forward like this they will be embarrassed or, more importantly, embarrass me! Maybe that is what this is all about, ME. It affects me, it embarrasses me, it is a reflection on me. If they don’t care why should I? Oh, but I do. I care. If they hit the wall, if the blood flies, if I am scrambling for the wet paper towel, and trying to make it all right have they learned their lesson? Late in the evening of The Wall Incident, Paige was all cleaned up and dressed in her pink princess jammies (yes, everything with her follows the pink-princess theme). We were watching television and vaguely watching as she played around us. And then we saw it. Paige walking a round, again, with her eyes closed “just to see what it was like”. Lesson not learned.SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-30794201931347160882008-10-09T13:51:00.002-05:002008-10-09T13:52:09.420-05:00Mommy WarsIt is a Monday evening and I am sitting in the lobby of the local dance studio. Our darling princess, Paige, is behind closed doors learning first position and piroutte, her giggling rising above all the other ballerinas. Because Scott has to work late, I sit alone with my nose buried in Sandra Lee’s autobiography (highly recommend), pretending to read as I secretly eavesdrop on the surrounding moms and their conversations. They are engaging in what Scott and I call the “Mommy Wars”. If you have ever sat at a PTA event or been on the sidelines of a third grade soccer match you know exactly what I am talking about. Each mother tries to outdo the next…”We feel so sorry for our Claire’s teacher - she is at the next reading level and Mrs. Smith has no choice but to teach her the first grade book” [read: my kid is smarter than your dyslexic moron] or “Little Dalton is just exhausted because just every single weekend on of his little Cub Scout pals is asking for another sleepover” [read: my angel is super popular compared to your buck-toothed little monster] or “We just call her Skinny Minny - all she want to eat is veggies these days” [read: listen, tubby, keep your pork rind eating plus sized six year old away from my supermodel-in-training]. As I listen to them pile on the crap, I wonder if they know how they sound. They don’t sound proud -- they sound pathetic. The image the project is one where they have to explain away their kids with some positive spinning explanation. Just like in a job interview…”What is your biggest fault?”, they ask. “Well,” as you pause for dramatic effect, “I guess I am just something of a perfectionist”. These same moms that spend an hour convincing you how accomplished and valued their kid is can be seen twenty minutes later admonishing them to the point of tears for not hugging little Madison bye-bye. God forbid our kids don’t live up to our own Freud inspired crazy expectations of them. All these kids ever really learn is that they can never please mommy & daddy unless they act as their own personal mini-me robot. Then they wonder why kids rebel 5 or 6 years down the line? Not me.<br /><br />When I enrolled Bradley in Middle School the nice cardigan enrobed woman at the first table told me that he had been selected for “Challenge English” and “Challenge Science”. Wow, I thought, that sucks but at least he will get the extra helps he needs. It was truly not really upsetting to me. I moved on to the rest of the registration process, saddened but not disappointed…paying for school lunches, picking up the gym uniform, getting the locker combination and at the last table that we parents were herded to, they had to do a final review of the kids class schedule before we could leave. They looked up and down intently at the class schedule I had thrust towards them and I muttered, “Yeah, ‘challenge’ classes”. She looked up at me, broadly smiled and said, “You do know that Challenge Classes are part of the honors and gifted program…right?”. Hell no, I didn’t know that! I get it now -- ‘challenge’ because they are harder than the rest of the classes. DUH! Until that moment I did not really know that this mop haired kid was gifted. I had just allowed Bradley to be Bradley, and look what happened. He is now an amazing 15 year old and still in Honors and AP level classes at the local high school. Not because I engaged in the mommy wars - not because I held out huge expectations for him - not because he was pushed and prodded. But just because this kid is organically intelligent. Be clear, though - I support him, I encourage him, I provide academic oversight but not direction, we expose him to challenging concepts (get it…“Challenge“!) So, I bury my head back in the Sandra Lee biography (did I mention what a fab book this is??) and let the warring continue around me. When my little Paige comes flying out of the studio, her hair a mess and too busy jabbering to her mommy to hug her ballerina friends goodbye -- I don’t fix her hair, I don’t force her to hug a friend goodbye and I don’t make her stop talking. Paige will just be Paige and she will always know that her parents love her no matter what.SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-43662355944655873132008-09-30T08:42:00.002-05:002008-09-30T09:09:28.843-05:00I Want My Own LifeWho was it that that opined, "I vant to be alone?". Garbo, right? Greta Garbo. She certainly had the right idea. I, too, just want to be alone. Don't get me wrong, I really do love me family. Immediate family, extended family, even the family dog. But being pulled in so many directions at the same time is really and sincerely wearing on me. When they want me...kids, husband, mother, the aforementioned dog...no one else will do. They need ME. I knew this going into marriage and parenthood and probably at my core I am happy to be so integral to everyone's life. But still -- if I am consumed to taking care of the world, who is taking care of me? In the last week or so the members of my family are getting sick one by one by one. Nothing life threatening, just some sort of chest cold, head cold, sinus infection deal. the sort of early fall illness that reminds you here in the Chicago area of who we dread 50% of our seasons. They lay on the couch and bark out orders for orange juice or magic meds. Clutching a box of tissue in one hand and an empty juice glass in the other, you can't help but cater to their pathetic needs. It's just what a Mommy does. <br /><br />I glared at Bradley yesterday, taking a sick day from Larkin High School, and mused, "Now, who will take care me when I fall ill??". Because he was desperate for juice and a bit loopy from cold meds he claimed that the family would all rally 'round me. PUHLEASE! When I was pregnant with Paige and ordered to bed-rest, that didn't even seem to happen. I know they have the best of intentions, but everything still falls to Mom. Scott in particular is an amazing husband who would do literally ANYTHING that I want. But what I truly want is for him to read my mind and know instinctivly what I need. No one has to tell ME how to take care of THEM. Ya know?<br /><br />When we moved into our new 2-story house 5 years ago the kids were amazed by the magic chute. Throw dirty clothes down there and VOILA...48 hours later crisp, clean clothing tucked into your dresser. DAMN IT, I NEED A MAGIC CHUTE! I can't tell you how many times I have pleaded to get a wife of my own! And when Scott and I bicker, nothing even bordering on divorce talk, I warn him, "Oh no you don't, mister! You are not leaving me alone with these kids...this house...the puking dog. You just buck up and we're gonna get this on track". And we do, we always do. That is what marriage and a partnership is all about. <br /><br />So as I awaken this morning, my own throat scratchy, head foggy, a tickle lingering in the back of my throat I will do what I have always done -- just take care of myself. Just after I take this little nap...SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4617677348032860789.post-34918951860100818832008-09-23T10:31:00.005-05:002008-09-23T11:33:44.580-05:00And Then My Heart StoppedI heard someone say once that having a child is like having your heart reside outside of your body. If I could recall who specifically said it, I certainly would give them proper attribution. At this point I really can not think of much of anything except the never ending health problems of my 15 year old baby. By all accounts Bradley was just a normal, mouthy, tall, cute and funny kid until the summer of 2006. He was complaining of leg pain which I primarily chalked up to "growing pains". I had read an article that firmly indicated that this truly does exist as a concept, so I told Bradley to shake it off. So it went for several days until my mother called me at work one day stating that Bradley could barely walk to the bathroom. Uh oh. As soon as I got home I took one look at the leg and it was considerably larger than the other. Be clear, Bradley was 13 at this point and I was no longer in the habit of inspecting his every limb. That sort of behavior begins to pass as soon as your kid hits elementary school. Regardless, he could not bear weight on his leg and a pained look would not fade from his blue eyed face. Fast forward a bit...trip to the pediatrician, admission to the hospital, and a diagnosis of an infection in the leg. The likely culprit was an infected toenail which Bradley has further infected with a dip into a tainted Michigan lake on a family getaway. Just as the infection seemed under control a clot developed in this leg. Life seemed to move in fast forward at this point, which included an emergent ambulance ride to Children's Memorial Hospital in Chicago for further specialized care. Even thinking of it now, it seems so very surreal. A bit more fast forwarding...the illness eventually seemed to resolve itself, but during the course of the next two years the leg remained swollen. We were told that this was par for the course, but we were also told that blood clots in kids is so rare that a firm treatment plan and expectation for the future was hard for the MDs to wrap their arms around. We take him again to the pediatrician just last week and this is when things take a shift. This doctor thinks that the swelling in the leg is unrelated to the clot and that there may be a completely alternative diagnosis (this is, of course, in addition to the blood clot and not in lieu of it). In rapid succession this guy start spewing words at me like Hematology, genetic disorder, Geneticist, possible kidney issues, adrenal cancer and more than I can care to remember. I frantically tried to take notes, but I could barely keep the pen in my hand or my thoughts in focus. And this is where we stand today -- between that trip to the pediatrician and the visit to the Hematologist this Friday. Bradley is depressed and frightened. Terror and concern and panic do not even seem to be large enough words for what I am feeling. I am overwhelmed and I am scared. Don't tell Bradley, though, as I am supposed to be the strong one. However, I feel weak and vulnerable. I feel like Mommy can not fix it all. I want answers, yet I want to plug my ears like a 5 year old and create another reality in my mind. This blessed little boy...little man...is still my baby.SusieADhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05921507918902461403noreply@blogger.com0