Believe it ~ You Can Go Home Again

Not long ago I was back in my hometown Arlington Heights, Illinois and, as always, just being there stirred up wonderful memories and feelings. I was there to take my mother-in-law, Audrey, in for a routine colonoscopy and had some time to kill between the drop off and the pick up. I took the opportunity not to do something productive as I usually would, like clean Audrey’s bathrooms or walk her dogs. I decided to be completely indulgent and take my own personal stroll down memory lane. Because I have been best friends with my husband, Scott, since age 12 many of these are memories that we share as a couple, making them all the sweeter.


I started off at Arlington High School, driving on both the Ridge Avenue and Walnut Avenue sides of the campus. I remembered “borrowing” my brother’s white Vega when I was 14 (okay, I stole it while he was hung over) and driving by the school, certain that everyone would see what hot stuff I was. I remembered walking the nearly 1 ½ miles to campus one warm 1980 fall day wearing spike heeled clogs, sure that my feet were bleeding beneath me, but more sure that fashion always took precedence over comfort. I remembered going to the very top bleachers of the Grace Gym and making out with my boyfriend when I should have been on the lower level of the school at lunch. To this day I remember the halls of that school as though I passed through them just yesterday.


My journey through Arlington Heights progressed to downtown, which I just barely recognize anymore. What used to be a sleepy Chicago suburb is now home to soaring condos and chichi bistros. The folks walking the streets downtown are no longer families with 3 or 4 or 5 kids heading to Hagenbrings for new spring clothing, but rather ambitious young professionals and the occasional gay couple. There remains only snippets of my old world, like the Dunton House restaurant or the amazing community library. I paused in front of each grand establishment, allowing the memories to wash over me.


I trekked back to my childhood home on Dunton Avenue and on my way saw where large McMansions have replaced many of the smaller 3 bedroom/2 bath homes. I saw houses where I went to parties and parks where we went to drink Southern Comfort we had swiped from our parent’s basement bar. I saw the elementary school where I threw up in the hallway in 5th grade and just knew my life was over at that moment. I drove by the junior high school where I first met Scott, clearly not knowing then that this skinny, smiling, goofy boy would one day be my beloved life partner. Finally on Dunton Avenue my childhood home looked smaller than I recalled, but the rush of love and nostalgia I felt at simply viewing it was indescribable. I resisted the urge to knock on the door and demand to be let in my home, but still can’t believe someone else has taken up residence in my house.


It was time to head back to Northwest Community Hospital, to retrieve Audrey and settle her back at her home with her two endlessly annoying and still-peeing-in-the-house poodles. Listening to what they now claim is the “oldies” station I made my way back south on Kennicott Avenue, still somewhat lost in 1972 (“Day After Day” by Badfinger”) or perhaps 1977 (“I’m In You” by Peter Frampton), or maybe it was 1981 (“Urgent” by Foreigner). I was all smiles, so giddy with memories that I couldn’t wait to rush back to my own home several suburbs to the west and coerce Scott to join me on this stroll down Memory Lane. Hubby is more of a “look to the future guy” rather than a “focus on the past man“, but we were gonna reminisce damnit!


Then, in the midst of my musing and driving I saw it. Right there, parked in the front of a tidy brick ranch house, was the exact car I learned to drive in. Same color (kind of copper/gold), same model (Caprice Classic) and same year (1978). It was as though the spirits were following me on this journey and simply to amuse themselves they dropped this auto in front of me. I was stunned to the point that I actually stopped my SUV, much to the annoyance of another mammoth SUV driver directly behind me, who promptly gave me the finger. I got chills just looking at this car, sure that it was a mighty sign from above. As I stared, my heart suddenly pounding, I saw it…


AV license plates. AV as in “Antique Vehicle”. AV?! Antique?! It was just yesterday, or maybe 10 years ago, 15 at the most that I learned to drive in that car. Right? Let’s see ~ ~ I am 45 years old and learned to drive at age 16, so that would be…umm….29 years ago. No!! It can’t be. Let me check that again ~ April 2009 minus October 1963 equals 45, minus spring 1979 equals…Antique Vehicle. It was like a cruel slap in the face, this aging vehicle staring back at me with it’s a.m. radio featuring WLS and it’s bench seats so perfect for canoodling on dates. I am snapped back to reality and the joys of routine mammograms and mortgages and child rearing. If I choose to now I can buy my own Southern Comfort and parks are now for swinging not swigging. Shoes are a comfortable necessity in this stage of my life and heels are reserved only for date night. I am the antique and my kids are not likely to dispute that.


Like the 1978 Caprice Classic I would like to think I have aged well. But you know what? With every passing year it matters less and less, because there is just no stopping the passage of time. Botox be damned and time marches forward. Those memories of Arlington Heights, though, are amazingly priceless. And the next time Audrey needs my taxi services the peeing poodles will just have to wait as this jaunt into my precious past has just begun.

Clipping Coupons Sucks...Or Does It?

Okay, Family, let’s economize! Come on, it will be fun ~ ~ BIG fun! I can practically hear the whoops, whistles & cheers.

I’ll admit, that’s not exactly how it all went down around here on Canyon Lane when I lost my job last May. There were tears (mine), concerned portfolio review (Scott) and general whining (kids). Since that moment 10 months ago we have sincerely rallied ’round and are making things really work. Our new life is different from our old life, but it is not inferior. Just….different. And as a courtesy to all of you, I am willing to let loose with some of our family secrets and hope that they will be of benefit to your own little world.

JUST WAIT
No, not as in “just wait ‘til your father gets home” or “just wait ‘til you have kids of your own” (not that those phrases never hit the walls of our home). More like, just wait to get your hair cut. Just wait to see that first run movie. Just wait until something goes on sale. Just wait to buy a new car. Several months ago we found ourselves just too busy to get the dog groomed and so we bathed and brushed her ourselves. It was no big deal and actually quite fun for the kids. Lightbulb!! If each of us (dog included) skipped just two hair cuts per year (waiting 2 months between cuts rather that our usual 6 weeks) we would save $300 in a year. Of course, this was an easy sell to our 16 year old budding rock star, Bradley, whose current mission is to cultivate a Peter Frampton-ish (circa 1976, of course) blond mane. Still, $300 is serious cash! Wait once a month until that first run movie hits HBO? Save another $600 per year! I’m liking this.

CUT BACK, DON’T CUT OUT
One of our special treats each weekend was for Scott & I to take Paige out for a big breakfast each Saturday after her gymnastics class. The tab wasn’t huge ($35 or so), but we decided to review this practice all the same. Our new tradition is to go out for breakfast only once per month and on the other Saturdays we hit this local donut shop that makes amazing homemade donuts that run us only $6.00 per dozen. This shift has resulted in a savings of about $1,000 over the course of the year. Again…liking this!

KEEP WHAT IS IMPORTANT
There are certain areas of spending that we have opted just not to touch, for various and personal reasons. For instance, Paige’s gymnastics and ballet classes. The joy and personal development that she realizes from these classes is well worth the cost. We will not, however, be adding any additional activities to her schedule and will limit her to just two for the near future. We also hold great value to travel and have not yet given up our one big vacation of the year. We do keep to a schedule and a budget, and the kids had an amazing time at Mount Rushmore this past summer. We have also maintained Date Night. Oh, and Scott’s Budweiser supply is not to be toyed with (or as he calls it “12 full ounces of cool, refreshing marital therapy”….he is kidding, right?).

PAY ATTENTION
Look around you and you can literally see your home eating up electricity and, thus, your hard earned dollars. Pay attention to what is going on around you and make changes where you can, such as:

--Open the dishwasher before the drying cycle begins & allow the dishes to air dry
--Turn off lights (duh)
--Don’t dry your clothes in the dryer until they are crackling with static, but rather take them out just a smidge short of full on dry
--Use your slow cooker rather than your oven
--Train the kids to take shorter showers (no kidding, Kayla once took a one hour shower)
Adjustments like this can save you about $800 per year or more.

GROW UP & PAY UP
Allow the older kids to pitch in for what they want. I say “allow” rather than “make” because I think you are giving children a great gift when you give them tools to help themselves and they can feel the supreme thrill of self-sufficiency. Want a new cell phone? Help pay the bill. Want a $75 pair of shoes, rather than the $35 ones I have selected? Then you can pay the $40 difference. I have watched in awe as the kids take great care with items that they have helped to purchase, while the stuff I buy gets tossed to the floor, stepped on & abused.

SPEAK UP
Now more than ever, there is no shame in watching carefully where your money goes. Talk to your friends and family, share your stories, and work together to weather this storm. Every week for the past several months someone I know has lost their job. This is absolutely not an exaggeration. Some of these people are near & dear to me (my brother) and some are simply casual or online acquaintances. Know what I have noticed across the board? No one panics. No one freaks out. No one loses their temper. Every one of these people seems to have almost made peace with their unemployment before it even happened. There are honest, forthright, and engaging conversations that have ensued. “If you know anyone looking for a Financial Analyst, give them my number”, “Do you know how to file for Unemployment?”, “Should I put this volunteer job on my resume?”, “I am feeling good today, thanks for listening” and “This may just be the best thing that ever happened to me”. Conversations you never would have dreamed of having ten years ago, such as concern about paying the bills, are as common now as nonsensical small talk about Brittany Spears or the newest Starbucks delight. I find this new and honest atmosphere so refreshing, don’t you?

Ya know, the tide will turn. I am sure of it. I think we have been too spoiled for too long and this is now the end of the road. Look at the blessings in your life and build from there. More importantly, know that you are not alone. And never will be.